


the way it should be

by goldenwhisker



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anarchist Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Anxiety, Blood God Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Blood and Violence, Childhood Trauma, Dead Wilbur Soot, Dream Team SMP Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Emotional Manipulation, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Gaslighting, Gen, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), L'Manberg is Gone, Manipulation, Panic Attacks, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Platonic Soulmates, Post-Manberg Festival on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Psychological Trauma, Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Sad, Separation Anxiety, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Technoblade Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Has PTSD (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit is Not Okay (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Tubbo has PTSD, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Violence, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur Soot is Floris | Fundy's Parent, after canonical doomsday, canonical divergence from doomsday, doomsday dream smp, this is just sad i might cry, tommy and tubbo are traumatized
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:35:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenwhisker/pseuds/goldenwhisker
Summary: Tommy and Tubbo had travelled to hell and back so they could find each other, and hell had broken both of them.--------------------Dream SMP AU fanfiction where Phil convinces Technoblade to bring an injured Tommy and unconscious Tubbo to their home in the snow village after Techno blows up the entire nation of L'manberg on Doomsday.They think the boys will manage to be strong like they always are, because Tubbo farms awws and Tommy farms laughs.Until they can't.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 116
Kudos: 1211





	1. doomsday

**Author's Note:**

> I was upset that Phil helped Techno without giving two shits about Tommy so I made this to cope >:[ 
> 
> Enjoy or I will cry
> 
> CW: some swearing, blood, mild gore, mild violence, explosions  
> TW: anxiety, dissociation, delirium, talk of murder

Phil stared down at the two ragged mounds on the floor, mouth opening and closing wordlessly. Explosions could still be heard from outside, but the four people were seemingly safe in the obsidian box.

  
He glanced up at the other man, still bewildered. "I- Ranboo- you can't seriously think-"

  
The half-enderman's tail whipped impatiently through the air. "They're half-dead, Phil, and it's on you and Technoblade. Don't want to be held responsible for the deaths of two teenagers, one of whom is your son? Great." He shrugged non-committedly. "All you have to do is keep them safe."

  
\---------------------------------

  
It had been nearly three hours since the TNT had stopped being lit off, but still the withers raged in the distance. Phil tried to block out the noises, reminding himself that it was for the best, but every time he glanced down at the boys that defense shriveled down to almost nothing. Tommy would fling his arms about once in awhile, his half-hearted shrieks quickly being muffled in the damp, sound-proof room; but Tubbo hadn't moved an inch since Ranboo had dragged them in here and shortly told Philza to watch them closely.

  
Speaking of. Where _was_ Ranboo? Anxieties clawed at Phil's throat, making him almost unable to breathe, but there was nothing to be done. He had no medical supplies. All of his potions were used up, and the monstrous beasts outside still howled with fury.

  
He hated being trapped here in this stupid box with his ever-so increasing guilt, but leaving his outspoken son and his quiet sidekick was out of the question.

  
No, Phil would never forgive himself for that.

  
_But it's Tommy's fault,_ a childish voice in his head complained, and the man closed his eyes tightly.

  
_Shut up,_ he thought bitterly, straining not to think of his son that way. 

  
He did not voice these opinions, but _both_ Tommy and Techno were in the wrong. Techno had expected him to go along with this plan, to blow up the entire nation, and hesitantly Phil had agreed - after all, a system that was clearly so corrupt it resulted to execution in order to deal with those who did not agree with their ruling was no ally in Phil's mind - but murdering his son, Techno's only living brother, was going too far.

And switching sides as quickly as Tommy had done, after Technoblade had given up _so much_ for his brother, was wrong too; although Tommy may have thought it a good idea at the time.

  
So he bit his lip anxiously and watched over the two children; one so brash and bold that only he would dare defy the people with the most power, and one so small and such an easy target that he allowed everyone else to walk over him and then still viewed them as good people.

  
He waited for someone to come. Someone, anyone, Techno or Ranboo or his grandson or, hell, even Ghostbur's ridiculous optimism would be helpful in this situation; like Techno... Techno, Techno... oh, he was going to be so furious, so angry, he wouldn't be able to believe his father was this incredibly soft-

  
"How are they doing?"

  
The quiet voice broke Phil out of his thoughts and he quickly drew his sword, panic and reflexes forcing him into a protective stance.

  
Ranboo put his black gloved hands up, long nails poking through the worn tips. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you," he mumbled before side-stepping around Phil and kneeling next to Tommy. He put a finger to the child's neck, feeling for a pulse. Tommy jolted in his sleep and his whole body wrung in a misshapen way. 

  
Phil almost stepped forward, worried on his son's behalf, before biting his lip and thinking the better of it.

 _You're no better,_ the childish voice taunted him again. _You're no better than Ranboo, because you did this to him- you're the reason he's here._

  
Phil bristled and squinted his eyes until he could barely see Ranboo, the teenager - or was he an adult? Phil had never asked - sighing and muttering to himself as he looked them over. When the man stood up, body language suggesting he was somewhere between relieved and defeated, Phil relaxed.

  
"How are they?" he asked faintly, his own voice sounding far away; like it wasn't his.

  
Ranboo took his sweet time answering. "Not good. Considering Tommy's suffered too many crossbow wounds from Techno to count, and TNT exploded literally on top of Tubbo, I'm surprised they're not worse."

  
He turned back to the younger boys, running his hand through his shaggy hair, and Phil's heart slowly dropped at Ranboo's indirect accusation. Then the urge to protect his dignity, to defend himself against this unruly child, lashed out.

  
Without meaning to, without giving his words a single thought, his mouth was snapping back a quick retort.

  
"It's not like you were much better; being a traitor and all."

  
Phil immediately regretted it. Ranboo's posture stiffened for a moment before shifting into controlled, yet hazy, anger. The black and white tail with its dagger-like point lashed quickly through the air before swirling around Ranboo's ankles protectively, as if a warning sign towards Phil. 

  
"I don't choose sides. I choose people. I've never been loyal to L'manberg - you obviously know that - but it's a completely different story when it comes to Tommy and Tubbo," Ranboo answered calmly over his shoulder; Phil could detect the seething rage held underneath. 

  
"You're my friend, too, Phil; that's why I came to you for help. But if you've nothing to give, then I guess that's that."

  
Phil wasn't sure how to respond to that.

  
The room went near silent, except for the occasional pitter patters as chips of crying obsidian fluttered to the ground from the ceiling in a lazy motion. Ranboo pulled out a glowing potion bottle from under his thin cloak and crouched down next to the boys, holding their heads up in an arch as he softly but firmly poured the liquid into each of their mouths.

  
In the distance a wither's screech was cut off mid-fucking terrifying-scream, and very quickly the whole world was eerily quiet.

\-------------------------------------------------

  
Techno had never been more exhilarated to watch something get completely destroyed than in this moment. TNT rained from the sky like some sort of blessed curse; and as withers released their wrath on the remaining half-ruined buildings and degraded them to nothing, he felt nothing short of peace.

  
It wasn't just the adrenaline pouring through the floodgates of his body, the way his heart pumped blood furiously and his hands shook so much that it somehow made their grip on his pickaxe stronger. It wasn't hearing the terrified screams of the people who had dared to hurt him over and over again like he was nothing but a ragdoll, a toy, a weapon; these people had taken everything from him, betrayed his trust, made him run away and never look back.

  
It certainly wasn't the satisfaction of knowing how many people had died, because no matter how loud the voices screamed _"Blood for the Blood God!"_ he still was never able to relish in death as much as they were. After all, he'd been betrayed and used enough times to know exactly how it felt to watch someone use your fears as leverage against you.

  
No, it was simply the relief. He was giddy, almost dizzy from it. He watched the withers, his creations, with a delirious grin on his face, and it was only after a few seconds of some sort of strangled choke ringing through the air that he realized he was _laughing._

  
The relief, the burden lifting from his shoulders was so overwhelming that suddenly the world was spinning before his eyes, and his shoulders slammed against a leftover pole as he lost his bearings. 

  
Techno noticed his ragged breaths and quickly pulled his humid mask off of his face, struggling to get enough air. His feet fought for balance and within a moment the blissful happiness he'd felt was replaced with panic as his feet seemed to slip off of the platform and he was falling- falling... falling.......

  
"Techno." 

  
A firm hand rested on his shoulder, and Technoblade was wildly brought back to Earth.

  
He looked up at the owner of the hand and its black fingerless gloves but had to blink twice before he recognized that it was a person. His chest heaved up and down along with the rapid beat of his heart and it was several moments before his head cleared.

  
"Are you alright?" the person asked carefully, and Techno vaguely knew it to be Dream.

  
"I'm.... I'm f-fine-" he gasped, his voice hoarse and wheezing. Dream's head tilted slightly, mask falling to the side so Techno could just barely see the end of an arched eyebrow.

  
"You shouldn't stay here much longer. The smoke isn't good for your lungs and it won't be long before the withers spot and aggro you. Got a reputation to uphold, remember?"

  
Techno laughed at the light-hearted joke, maybe a bit bewildered at Dream's nerve, but it was choppy and short and it hurt his throat, and he knew that the faceless man was probably right.

  
"Wha-what about you?" he choked out, glancing up and raising a hand to wipe spit off of his fanged mouth. The arm didn't go back to his side, though, and he shielded his mask, grimacing silently. The bright colors of the setting sun pained his eyes even through the slitted holes in his mask, and it disturbed him to know that he was almost envious of Dream's own protective facegear. 

  
Being blind was surely much worse than having self-esteem issues.

  
"I had some fire res; I'll be fine," the other man answered simply, and Techno shrugged. He straightened his back and carefully tested his footing, glad to see that his overconfidence hadn't faulted him too much. He began to descend the broken pillar, not necessarily gracefully, and groaned quietly when he felt the beginnings of a headache.

  
It'd been a long day. He hadn't had any water- hell, not even a bite to eat- and where was Philza when he needed him? The euphoria of the nation's end was quickly fading away, and Techno's stomach grumbled. He reached into his pockets, searching half-heartedly for food, knowing there was none.

  
He would just have to find his father. Phil always had food, enough for the both of them and many more. Techno called it overprepared; Phil said it was just learned caution.

  
As he continued his descent and eventually hopped down off the last ledge, landing in the bottom of the giant crater that had once been L'manberg, Technoblade typed something on the radio communicator that rested on his wrist, and began to head in the direction of the sun.

  
\------------------------------------------------

  
Dream watched Techno stumble down the makeshift steps, offering no hand for help. He'd probably just get himself killed. Technoblade was overly trigger happy, and Dream didn't find comfort in self-sacrificial bullshit. So he turned away and, after spending a moment watching Quackity desperately try to run away from a wither targeting him (there were several harming arrows sticking out from the bare flesh of his back, blood trailing from the wounds, and Dream wasn't completely sure how the man was still alive, much less active), Dream began to carelessly scan over the area.

  
Some buildings were still standing, but not unscathed, and not enough for it to be considered anyone's home. It didn't matter, anyway; most of the population of L'manburg had sacrificed everything, including some of their lives, for this pit of messy history and tears and scars. He knew that at this point people were breaking, and they just wanted it to be gone.

  
He flashed a smug and triumphant smile, one made only for himself. He leaned against the pole Techno had nearly fainted on and crossed his arms, adjusting the mask on his face. The sun was nearly over the distant mountains, and he waited patiently, as he always had, for the brief flash of green that would streak across the horizon for merely a second.

  
The last thing the world heard before the sky went completely dark and the stars brightened like the tiny, destroyed lanterns of L'manburg, was Dream's humming as he reminisced in the fact that one day, this would _all_ be his.

\--------------------------------

When Techno came into the room, his movements sluggish from battling exhaustion, pink hair falling out of his bun and trailing down his back like lifeless strings, Phil wasn't sure what to expect.

  
He took a deep breath and held it, watching his son drop his sack of supplies and numerous weapons to the ground. He watched as Techno glanced up slowly, aware of the two pairs of eyes focused on him. He watched as Techno looked between them, his mouth tightening into a confused line at the grave looks on their faces. He watched as Tommy shifted in the corner with Tubbo and Techno's eyes moved over to the pair.

  
Ranboo's forked tail was held low to the ground, almost between his legs like a guilty dog. He held his ears close to the sides of his head, but stood his ground; as much as he admired and respected Technoblade, Tubbo and Tommy were his friends and Ranboo was willing to go to extreme lengths for his friends. _Even if- even if I'm not completely sure we're friends anymore,_ he admitted to himself, wincing at the brief memories of recent events between them.

  
"Phil," Techno finally said, his tone dangerously low. He didn't seem angry, just disgusted, but his shoulders had stiffened at the sight of the boys and though Phil couldn't see much under the mask he knew Techno's eyes would be full of indecisiveness - a stew of anger, fear, and regret.

  
"Techno," Phil acknowledged. A second passed before he opened his mouth because he felt like he should say more, but it quickly closed again as he wondered exactly what he would say. Apologize? Accuse him of being reckless and immoral? Bribe him into leaving the injured children alone?

  
" _Why are they here?_ " Techno hissed, coiling away from the two conscious men, and Phil stepped back cautiously, slightly jolted at Techno's harsh tone, but understanding, as a father should always be. He waited a few seconds before answering, studying Techno closely. He wavered on his feet a bit and Phil's keen eyes didn't miss how he grabbed onto the wall discreetly for support, how his head hung down slightly and his mask slipped down his face.

  
"Tech," Phil started, "could we talk about this tomorrow? You reek of fatigue, mate, and don't seem to be in the best mindset to-"

  
"No!" Techno answered hotly, standing up straight. He raked his fingers through his hair, and Phil silently cursed himself. Making Techno self-conscious wouldn't make him see reason; he'd have to deal with this now.

  
_Besides, Tommy and Tubbo need care_ , he reminded himself, and glanced at them for a moment. Blood had started seeping down Tommy's face from some unseen wound, and though his eyelids fluttered every once in awhile, he didn't seem to be fully conscious. Phil's stomach dropped at the sight of Tommy's tattered clothes, the bags under his eyes, the rocks and sticks in his hair. His skin was coated with a thick layer of grime, hiding his pale skin.

  
Phil sighed and forced himself to turn back to Techno, who was staring at him intently, his jaw stuck out like an indignant child. Ranboo had begun to wring his hands anxiously and kept glancing at the ceiling, as if the crying obsidian would somehow bring answers.

  
"Techno, just be- just be reasonable," he tried. Techno's chin lifted slightly, and so Phil quickly rambled on, "listen, I agreed with everything you've done to L'manberg, the government had to be brought down, and this city was nothing but a symbol of tyranny, but killing two teenagers, killing your family? Look at it out there, Techno."

  
He motioned out the doorway, and without knowing it had stepped further into the middle of the room, a protective shield in front of Tommy and Tubbo.

  
"L'manberg's gone, and without the nation there can be no government, so please, Techno, please listen to me: Tommy and Tubbo are nothing more than teenagers now. _Teenagers._ And one is your brother, these are the people you've spent your entire childhood with and laughed and loved and cried with, Techno. They're hurt. They're dying because of us, and even though I sure as hell don't regret blowing up that god-forsaken place, killing or leaving them for dead is just not something I'm going to be doing."

  
\----------------------------------------------

  
Techno stood frozen at the front of the room, and the tips of his ears twitched with sudden movement. He was uncomfortable with the hostile attention that was directed at him, and moved closer to the exit. Closer to an escape. _Escape, escape, escape!_ the voices chanted in his head, and Techno knew he could. He could run away, start a new base, nowhere to be found. Away from Philza. Away from yet another person who'd broken his trust. _How dare you?!_ he wanted to scream, furious that Phil had gone behind his back. And yet it made sense.

  
He rocked on the balls of his feet, gritting his teeth so hard that the exterior fangs on his mouth sliced through the skin of his lip and warm crimson blood flowed down Techno's chin. He hardly noticed, though, his eyes trained on his father and Ranboo, his brother and his brother's best friend in the background.

Somewhere in his mind he knew Phil was right. He didn't want to admit it, didn't want to acknowledge that maybe he was _wrong,_ that maybe he wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe he really did need a rest so he could think this through.

He just needed a rest.

Techno let out a deep sigh and leaned against the doorway to the room, his eyes closing as he laid his head against his arm. His mouth moved quickly as he silently whispered the words he _wanted_ to say- the way he _wanted_ to scream at Phil for being so gullible and so idiotic. And yet he also wanted to cry and admit that maybe he should have a nap, because it had been three weeks since he got more than an hour of sleep at night, and war is tiring and he's been betrayed so many times over the past few days that he's no longer sure this isn't a dream- was this a dream? Could this be a dream?

 _Am I dreaming?_ he wondered to himself; and if thoughts could be slurred, Techno's were.

And before he knew it, he was falling- falling, falling..... falling again, and then he was out.


	2. home home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what im doing lol
> 
> CW: blood, sickness, fever, violence, explosions and references to sort-of-graphic murder  
> TW: yelling, panic attacks, anxiety, referenced suicide

Phil and Ranboo brought the three unconscious men back to Techno's cabin with some difficulty. It would've been easier if they'd had Carl, sure, but the warhorse would've likely gotten killed by the explosions.

Still, Ranboo was wistful as his shoulders ached. They'd had to carry the three to the boats one at a time and even then his muscles screamed for mercy.

Sure, Ranboo was tall and muscular from hard work, the construction of his home, and the constant running around with friends, but recently losses had been cut. 

Ever since Tommy had been reported dead and Phil had become an enemy of the state, the entire country was somber. Not quiet- the laughs and gossips continued on as normal, but there was an icy lining to them. Ranboo had noticed that when he talked to people they would begin staring, their eyes glossing over with fatigue and mental exhaustion. 

Tubbo had been so busy with the Butcher Army and Tommy's supposed death that none of his closest friends and governmental leaders had had time to eat or even sleep.

 _Well,_ Ranboo laughed bitterly, _guess we won't have to worry about that anymore._

After the three were carefully loaded into the boat; blankets wrapped around Tommy and Tubbo so they wouldn't catch hypothermia and Techno's axe carefully retrieved from his youngest brother and returned to its rightful owner, where it lay as peaceful as its name, Ranboo and Phil returned to the obsidian bunker one last time.

"Will you be coming with us?" Phil finally questioned, watching Ranboo as he gazed at the inside of probably the most important thing he'd ever built.

Ranboo didn't answer, and instead took to running his sharp fingers over the jagged obsidian edges of the bomb-proof room. He caught a flake of crying obsidian in his hands and moved on, his movements fluid and consistent. Phil kept an eye on him the whole time, not sure what the strange teenager was doing.

Finally Ranboo took long strides over to the jukebox in the corner of the room, his long cloak dancing over the black floor, and he knelt before it. He just sat there for a moment, looking at it as if he were asking it a question, before finally coming to a conclusion.

The hybrid stood up in one quick movement and gathered the jukebox in his arms, not a second to waste before he pushed it into his magical satchel. The jukebox had been twice the size of the bag, but the bag didn't stretch nor tear as the large musical item was pushed inside. Most of the residents in the Dream SMP had some sort of magical container like this; Techno's bag, Tommy's backpack, Tubbo's box.

Phil raised an eyebrow but didn't ask any questions. He assumed what kind of answer this was.

"So... yes?"

Ranboo turned and smiled, holding the satchel at his side. The grin was genuine, but Phil could see the tears in his eyes. He sucked in his breath.

"I think-" Ranboo answered carefully, before swiveling to take another look at the room, "I think there's nothing left for me here. I held no sentimental value for L'manberg, and all my other friends-" he stopped suddenly, looking unsure of himself. Phil wondered whether he should reassure the enderman that he didn't have to explain himself, or allow him to continue, but Ranboo made the decision himself. "All my other friends either see me as a t-as a traitor, or have betrayed me themselves."

"So," he took a deep breath, rounding himself up. "Yes. I think I'm going to come. Tommy and Tubbo are all I've got left."

\-------------------------------------------

They sat in the main room of Techno's house for a long moment. Being somewhere where smoke didn't choke the air and the ground wasn't filled with a several-chunk crater and dozens of creeper holes was refreshing. Phil hadn't realized how much he'd missed being here, even though it felt different and new after L'manberg's destruction.

Of course, it wasn't long before they needed to get to work. Techno was the first to wake up, his words drowsy and his head foggy, and the two quickly ushered him into bed. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow; weeks of sleep-deprivation finally took its toll.

Tommy and Tubbo were dragged into the main room, where there were dozens of chests filled with important tools and medical supplies. When blood began seeping through Tubbo's black suit, staining the white shirt underneath, Ranboo helped rip it. He put bandages on the boy's head- which was swollen; the skin ripped and bleeding. Phil knew he must've been hit by the wither and immediately knocked out.

All of Tommy's clothes were singed and barely hanging on by threads. When Ranboo had peeled them off, his breath caught in his throat. Tommy's stomach was covered in burns and bruises, of nasty colors and in nasty amounts. He was much thinner than Ranboo remembered, and some of his bones stuck out like sticks under his skin. The flesh on Tommy's hands had been torn off, too, like he'd been thrashing it against a wall again and again or maybe protecting himself with them.

Phil watched Ranboo silently, but his mind was sick with horror. _Had he done this? To his own son?_ Tommy and Tubbo were laying practically living corpses in front of them, their bodies like lifeless, broken forms, and he'd let it happen.

More than that; he'd caused it. It didn't matter how many times Tommy had annoyed him to the ends of the earth, how many times Tommy had chosen the side of his friend over the side that was right.   
Tubbo was a different story - he'd put Phil on house arrest and executed Techno - but Phil was smart enough, observant enough, to see the way the former president had eyed Quackity and Fundy nervously, the way he looked to them for confirmation, the way he followed them without question.

Phil closed his eyes tightly and forced his mouth into a neutral line. He couldn't let himself get emotional about this or someone would get hurt. 

When he opened his eyes, his head hadn't cleared, but it was empty enough and there was nothing he could do. Wordlessly he kneeled down next to Ranboo and the boys, and put his hand out. Ranboo reached for the healing potions and the cloth they'd put to the side, pressing them into Phil's hands with something that felt like silent reassurance.

No, not reassurance. More like confirmation. _Promise me,_ the movement signaled, and Philza Minecraft reluctantly did so.

\-------------------------------------

When TommyInnit woke up the next day, there was nothing to do but scream. The second he opened his eyes, the second he put an arm out to help himself up as if he'd just woken from a long night, the second his chest rose to take in a deep breath consciously for the first time, a sharp pain seared through his entire body, and he cried out again and again because it felt like he was being stabbed in the chest, in the arm, in the head - over and over again.

The blood-curling scream woke up everyone in the house except for Tubbo, who was still worryingly still. They all rushed down the steps, taking four, even five, at a time. Ranboo dropped to his knees in front of the boy's makeshift bed, and put a hand on Tommy's forehead. He was burning up.

"Tommy?!" he asked desperately, panic forcing its way up through his throat. Phil was cursing and pulling things out of chests and brewing stands, rushing around the room like his life depended on it.

Techno stood at the side rubbing his eyes as if he still wasn't completely sure why Tommy was here in the first place.

It only took a few moments for Phil to find a sleeping potion, and he poured it into the boy's mouth slowly and yet quickly, finger tapping the side of the bottle impatiently. Ranboo watched with terror as Tommy's face went from fitful and red to a soft, ashy gray. It wasn't an improvement.

"What's happening to him?" he pleaded with Phil, but Phil only shook his head. His hands shook as he took an empty water bottle and poured half a regen and half a healing potion inside, shaking the mixture before popping the lid off and opening Tommy's slack jaw with no hesitation.

"Is that safe?" Ranboo screeched, and suddenly his tail flailed through the air with such fear that it struck Tubbo in the face.

Phil gave him a hard look and Ranboo paled. He began muttering a strand of meaningless prayers under his breath, purple glints of color beginning to swarm around his body as he lost control of his emotions.

The older man worked hard but carefully, and it was several half-hours before he finally put down his work. The two changed Tubbo and Tommy's blankets and bandages and carefully checked them over for anymore injuries. Tubbo's state was worrying - he seemed to be in comatose and Phil wasn't entirely sure the blow to his head hadn't damaged his brain, or that it wouldn't kill him in the end.

After Tommy's injuries and fever had been (mostly) taken care of, a wet rag placed on his forehead, Ranboo and Phil walked up the stairs and met in the attic to whisper amongst themselves. They chewed thoughtfully on pieces of tasteless cooked steak and golden carrots, wondering what to do.

"What does Techno think?" Ranboo asked softly, and Phil sighed. He put his food down on its plate and leaned back on the emerald block he was perched on. The tired man pulled his bucket hat off of his head and ran a hand through his hair, and the sad droop of his eyes made him look a hundred times older than he actually was.

"He shut himself down in the basement with his villagers and hasn't spoken a word to me since he woke up. He's my kid and I want to help, but I just don't understand how I'm going.. I don't know how to talk to him. I don't know why he's acting so.... so indecisiveness. So bipolar."

Ranboo looked down at the steak in his hands mutely, and Phil shook his head, slipping the hat back on. "Sorry, I shouldn't be complaining about this. I keep forgetting you're just a kid, since you're so tall and mature and all. I need sleep. You should go to bed too."

Ranboo's long, slender fingers traced the silver edges of his plate, and he stood up. "It's alright," he said softly, before walking down the stairs.

And the house went quiet.

\------------------------------------------

When Tommy opened his eyes for the second time, there was almost no pain. Sure, his head was aching like a bitch, and he groaned when he found he could barely blink his eyes, but it didn't hurt so bad. It didn't hurt nearly as bed.

When he looked at his surroundings through glassy, blurry vision, he realized with a jolt that he didn't know where he was. The bed didn't feel like his home at L'manberg, and the walls weren't like in Pogtopia, and it surely wasn't Phil's house, where he'd slept more often than he'd like to admit, silently sobbing from nightmares he couldn't remember.

His mind brought up another possibility, and Tommy quickly cried out. He sat up quickly and pushed himself onto the ground, coiling away from the bed. His eyes widened when he saw it was red and the walls were white and the floor was cold and it felt exactly like his tent, his tent back in Logstedshire where he'd laid under the stars and cried himself to sleep every night. 

His heart began thumping wildly when he knew that Dream must have found him, Dream must have brought him back because he _always_ brought Tommy back.

Panic took over Tommy's entire body and he crawled away as quickly as his malnourished, deranged body could allow him to.

"No, please," Tommy begged, moving further and further away from the bed, his hand reaching out for anything he could touch. Tears started dripping down his face and he didn't even know why; just that they were there. "Please, please, no, I don't want to be back there," he sobbed quietly before his tone quickly rose to a strangled scream. 

Someone burst into his tent, and Tommy couldn't see who it was because his frantic tears were in way of his eyes, but he knew. He knew who it was. Dream had caught him once again doing something he shouldn't. Terror gripped at Tommy's whole body and he scrambled into the corner. His shoulder slammed nastily into something hard and painful, but Tommy couldn't give a shit because Dream was here and Tommy could see his axe and he was going to hit him, he was going to slice Tommy's throat because Tommy had disobeyed him he was going to kill Tommy and Tubbo they were going to die.

Tommy could hear shouting and he put his hands over his ears and suddenly it wasn't shouting, it was explosions, and everything was falling into shambles right in front of him, L'manberg and Logstedshire and everything he'd ever put time into. Hot flashes of light ran in front of him and smoke and he was coughing, he couldn't breathe and everything was gone, everything was gone.

Dream put his hand on Tommy's shoulder, and that's when Tommy knew.

He was going to die.

Surprisingly, he didn't scream out or panic and run away.

He didn't even flinch. 

TommyInnit just closed his eyes tightly, looked away, and waited for the thing he'd been expecting, almost welcoming, for too long now.

\------------------------------------------

When Technoblade was woken from his sleep by a terrible scream, he surprised himself: he didn't get up.

Normally, if he'd been in the same house as Phil, hell, even in the same city, he would have jumped from his bed, thrown on his clothes, and risked everything for his best friend and father.

But Technoblade was a very light sleeper (perks of having your life be under constant threat), and he woke to nearly every slight creak and every wind's howl. Many times this was handy, but not so much when he would be lurched from sleep several times every night by the sound of crying.

It wasn't Phil - Techno had confirmed that the first night it'd happened. He'd grabbed onto his sword tightly and snuck out the door of the basement without so much as breathing. He'd ascended to the next floor of the house, wishing he had invis potions on him, before noticing a figure in the sideroom.

It was Ranboo.

The boy had been kneeling in front of Tommy and Tubbo, pleading with them to wake up, muffled sobs escaping from his mouth, accompanied every so often by the telltale sound of an angered enderman. Techno had watched silently for maybe three minutes before he went back down to his self-proclaimed dungeon, feeling like an intruder.

Techno hadn't slept at all that night.

But now there was screaming. It made Techno uneasy, but he didn't want to disturb Ranboo's privacy. He'd noticed the way the bags under the hybrids' eyes grew darker and larger, and accompanied with the slight flinches he gave whenever someone made a sudden movement or there was a loud noise, Techno could only assume he'd been having nightmares.

Ranboo hadn't ever screamed because one of these nightmares before, but Techno still refused to get up. 

It was only when more shouts accompanied the first one that he began to rethink his decision.

\-----------------------------------------------

Ranboo and Phil had both heard it, and they stared at each other in the darkness. Without hesitation, Ranboo jumped out of his cot, tail swishing behind him, and leapt from the room. Phil followed close, but not before he grabbed his sword and held it tightly in his palm.

Ranboo's keen ears followed the owner of the shriek to the boys' room, and they both looked in the room wearily. 

It only took a second to see what was wrong.

Tommy was curled up in the corner, his eyes wide but staring at nothing. Tear stains caused clean paths down his cheeks and were quickly filled with new tears as the boy took shuddering breaths and said incomprehensible things to himself, each word differing in pitch and tone, some a scream and some nearly a whisper. 

Ranboo ran towards the boy so quickly that Phil worried he might hurtle into the child. "Tommy!" he said frantically, dropping to his knees in front of him. "TOMMY!"

Ranboo looked desperately at Phil for help as Tommy put his hands over his ears and began shrieking things that were muttled and deafened by his quick breaths and gasping sobs. 

Phil edged closer to the boy, glancing nervously at Ranboo. "He's- uhm- I think he's having a panic attack-" Phil told him, anxiety causing his voice to jump several octaves higher. What had happened? What had he DONE? Tommy had never acted like this, not once in his life, never in a million years.

Ranboo's eyes bulged and he quickly turned to Tommy. "Tommy-" he said, and he began to talk to the boy, reasoning with him to come back to them, but it failed to work. His voice became more rushed and more strained as Tommy began thrashing around, lost in another world, his eyes looking around with horrible panic like he couldn't see them, like he couldn't see.

"Tommy-" Phil finally tried desperately, and he put his hand on Tommy to try to ground him.

And for some reason it worked.

The second Phil touched him, Tommy's movements slowed. His eyes stopped flitting around, and their lids drooped down slightly. His mouth closed into a single grim line, dried and wet tears dripping down his lips. They left long clear lines through the dirt and blackened ash that was left on his face, and Phil tried to wipe some off with his thumb.

Suddenly Techno burst through the door, his pink hair a mess, eyes crazed. His mask wasn't on and Ranboo started, surprised to see the man looking so vulnerable.

"What's going on?" he asked hotly, glancing around the room before his eyes landed on Tommy. Techno's eyebrows rose ever so slightly, but he stepped inside fully and closed the door softly behind him, eyes never leaving Tommy.

When Phil turned back, his youngest son had passed out, likely from exhaustion and fear and whatever sort of delirium this had just been. He sighed in relief and quickly looked over at Tubbo, who laid so still that one who couldn't see his chest rising up and down might have thought he was dead.

"Tommy had... something happened to Tommy," Phil finally answered lamely, and Techno knelt down next to them in one quick movement. His eyes narrowed as he looked closely at his younger brother. Then, without warning, he reached out and gathered the slender boy in his arms, stood up, and carried Tommy over to Tubbo's bed.

The second he put Tommy down carefully onto the sheets, the younger boy had latched onto his best friend's arm. Techno smiled craftily, something like smug pride flowing through his eyes. It'd been awhile since Phil had seen his son's eyes.

"What made you do that?" Ranboo asked timidly, and Techno shrugged, though clearly he was pleased with himself.

"Just diagnosed him with a simple case of separation anxiety. Who's the clingy one now, Big Man?"


	3. the togetherness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what im doing sorry this is shorter and its very bad next chapter will be better mby idk
> 
> CW: injury, sickness, violence, death, explosions, referenced murder/threats,   
> TW: panic attacks, anxiety, rushing thoughts, paranoia, yelling, implied impulsive self harm

It had been a week when Tubbo finally woke up.

Every day before then was spent in silent worry, a sad tension filling the entire house. Ranboo spent the entire time at their side, even sleeping on a blanket on their floor at night. He would wring his hands in a methodical, timely way, his eyes staring blankly at them during the day. Every couple of hours Phil would bring in food for him, and they would nod to each other, and Phil would sit in the chair on the opposite side of the room for a long time before leaving once again, being the only one in the house functional enough to gather supplies.

Technoblade came in often, too, but Ranboo could see from the way his eyes would glaze over as he looked at them and his jaw would tighten that it made him uncomfortable to be in the room with the boys. He would stand awkwardly in the doorway, mutely checking on Ranboo, eyes not leaving the unmoving forms of his brother and his best friend, before leaving just as quietly as he'd arrived.

Ranboo hadn't left this room in four days, and so of course he'd been the first to see it.

He was squeezing a soaked rag into Tubbo's mouth, grimacing at the boy's cracking, dried lips, when Tubbo's eyelashes fluttered. 

Just barely.

But enough for Ranboo to notice.

His eyes widened and he leaned close to the boy, placing the rag on the bedside table. "Tubbo?" he whispered, and the boy's face slowly creased into a grim appearance.

A smile grew on Ranboo's face, the first one in days, and he grabbed hold of the younger boy's hand. "Hey, Tubbo," he said softly. "It's me, your good ole' pal Ranboo. Or. I think I'm your pal."

He winced at the dumb words before watching as Tubbo's eyes slowly fluttered open. He blinked several times before registering his surroundings, and then he looked at Ranboo. His face flooded with confusion and he struggled to sit up.

"Hey, hey, slow down," Ranboo said carefully. "It's alright. You're in Technoblade's house, and I'm here. I'll go get Phil in a moment."

Tubbo's eyes widened with shock, and he quickly looked all around the room. "Techno?" he asked, voice small and high-pitched. Ranboo bit his lip.

"I- no. You're in Techno's house right now, but he's not here-"

Tubbo relaxed slightly, but then quickly sat up again, fear on his face.

"Where's Tommy?" he demanded sharply.

Ranboo let out a slight hum, tail just barely flicking around.

"He's mostly been in here, but a couple hours ago we had to take him out because... we were afraid he would hurt you."

Tubbo's face dropped, and Ranboo felt his heart go with it.

"Wh-wha?"

"He's not doing so well, Tubbo. He woke up a couple times, but never for long, and he's been thrashing around and kicking his legs, and well, we were afraid he might injure you, not on purpose of course, but we didn't want to take any chances, because you've been asleep for a week and we didn't know what was wrong with you and-"

Ranboo stopped himself, biting his lip once more. With all these nervous habits he was beginning to have a more permanent indent on his mouth, but that was the least of their problems.

"I want to see him," Tubbo answered flatly after a moment, and Ranboo sighed.

\--------------------------------------------

When Tubbo walked in the room, leaning on Ranboo for support, he was instantly crouching on the floor, swaying on his knees next to his best friend, the person he considered a brother, before he knew it.

"Tommy-" he started, voice cracking as he struggled not to show how disturbed he was.

Tommy looked worse than Tubbo had ever seen him. They'd been through their fair share of wars and horrible, horrible shit, but Tubbo had never seen him like this. Not looking so vulnerable. Not looking so much like a small child. Tommy had always been the one who would get up first, wavering on his feet but refusing help and always insisting that he was fine. 

But here he was. Laying on a bed, face tainted with exhaustion, his hair plastered to his forehead in a mix of sticky sweat and moist dirt, his clothes so ripped that they weren't more than rags barely covering his body.

Tubbo turned around accusingly.

"You said it's been a week!" he gritted his teeth, trying to keep his voice under control. It still came out as a strangled shriek, and the hybrid flinched, his tail dropping down to touch the ground. "You said it's been a _week_ and here he lies, wearing nothing but strings and covered in _FUCKING_ soil! What is _wrong_ with you? Are you not bothering to take care of him?! _LOOK AT HIM!"_

Tubbo slumped down, rested his head on the bed, and started to sob. He moved his hands around on the bed until he could find Tommy's. It was wrapped soaking bandages and smelled worse than death itself, but it was still his. He held on for dear life, begging for his friend to wake up, begging for everything to turn out alright.

\--------------------------------------

The third time Tommy opened his eyes, he wasn't alone.

The room was dark and unrecognizable. There was a lone torch on the other side of the room, but it had been blown out, and he could hear light snoring next to him.

He laid there, completely still, for several minutes, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness and for his body to realize that he was conscious.

Then he craned his neck to see the person next to him. It cracked and popped, likely due from a long time of no use, and Tommy winced slightly.

After a moment of blinking, he realized the person next to him, sleeping in the same large bed with him, was Tubbo.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Tubbo and him hadn't slept in the same bed for years now, not since they were little and had sleepovers almost every night, not since they were children and knew nothing other than each other. Even the times when they'd lived under the same roof, when they'd stayed in the same room, there had always been two beds. One for him, one for Tubbo.

He squirmed slightly, and let out a shaky breath when pain ran down his arms and chest. But he managed to lift an arm a few inches and with it he poked Tubbo in the ribs, listening closely for a reaction.

"Hey," Tommy whispered, his voice hoarse and nearly silent. When that didn't warrant a response he silently wondered if Tubbo was dead, and then he poked him again. 

"Tubbo!" he tried again, and the louder tone hurt his throat. But the other boy shifted in his sleep, and Tommy slowly let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

He kicked Tubbo in the shin.

Tubbo gasped and sat up in a single movement, his hand reaching out automatically to grab his sword. But there were no weapons in the room. The older boy looked around the room slowly before spotting Tommy.

"Tommy?" he asked softly, his eyes wide and very visible in the dark room. Tommy offered him a shaky smile, and before he knew it Tubbo had thrown himself on top of the other boy and was clutching him so tightly Tommy couldn't breathe. And then suddenly his shoulders were shaking up and down, and quiet, muffled sobs rang out from his mouth. Tommy winced, not understanding, but rubbed calming circles on his best friend's back, wishing he would get off of him.

Finally Tubbo did. He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his suit - Tommy realized with a jolt that he was still wearing it - before giving Tommy a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.

"I thought you were dead," he admitted, and Tommy scoffed. The sound was caught in his throat, though, and he started to cough. Tubbo waited patiently, rubbing his thumb on the other boy's palm like they'd done when they were little, until he was done.

"Wha-what happened?" Tommy mumbled, his head hanging down slightly.

Tubbo opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted instead.

"Tommy! You're awake!"

Tommy's head snapped towards the left, and a shadow moved towards them in the darkness. He couldn't see who or what it was and so he bristled, immediately sure the shape would slam into his body, and flattened himself against the wall, closing his eyes tightly.

It's nothing. It's fine.

It's someone friendly. Someone running towards me. 

Just a person coming towards me, it's fine, with no weapons, and no skulls, _no skulls, no Wilbur and no TNT, and-_

_Oh god. Oh god it's coming towards me it's gonna hit me it's gonna hit me oh god oh god oh god._

Without realizing it he put his hands in front of his face, just like he'd done with the wither and the explosives, and pushed his back against the wall with such pressure that he started to move the bed away from it, slipping into the crack formed between the two objects.

He noticed he wasn't breathing, so he opened his mouth to get a huge rush of hair but then he was coughing again and the smoke was filling his lungs and the skull was coming towards him like a fireball and then it was hitting him it was hitting him and the smoke and his hands, they were burning and he was falling, falling down the hole-

\---------------------------------------

" _Ranboo!_ " 

Tubbo jumped off the bed and stood protectively in front of his best friend He glared at Ranboo, angry that he'd had this effect on Tommy - _what had Ranboo done to him?_ \- and he quickly wrapped his arms around Tommy's shoulders, rubbing them as his eyes not once left the enderman's form.

Ranboo stopped perfectly still in the middle of the room, and he slowly put his hands behind his back.

"I'm not- I wasn't going to hurt him," he stammered, voice filled with fear and guilt.

"He obviously thought you were going to," Tubbo hissed, eyes flashing menacingly as he slowly tried to comfort Tommy. "Hey, big man. Hey, it's alright. It's me, your good friend Tubbo. Tubboinabox, remember that? Come on, now. Come on. It's alright."

It took several minutes of patient prodding before Tommy slowly moved out of his fetal position, his arms returning to his sides. He stared blankly in front of him, and Tubbo continued to speak to him, telling him where he was and who he was with.

"Ranboo?" Tommy repeated weakly, but he didn't sound scared, and Tubbo sighed.

"Yeah, Tommy. Ranboo's here. Just Ranboo. He won't hurt you." Tubbo threw a threatening glance over his shoulder, and Ranboo nodded somberly.

He continued to tuck his arms in his cloak, tucking his ears and tail in, making himself seem less of a threat. He wasn't sure why Tommy had been so deeply terrified of him - they'd been nothing less than good friends and allies since the day they'd met - and that made him worried.

He'd never seen Tommy this shaken up before.

Not since exile.

\----------------------------------

Phil and Techno sat in the main room; Phil on a chest and Techno on a crafting table. Phil was tapping his foot nervously and Techno played with a piece of string over and over again. The clock hanging on the wall ticked consistently, but it felt like the seconds were hours.

Finally Ranboo walked inside, and the two stood up.

"What's going on?" Techno asked, monotonal, struggling to keep the worry out of his voice.

"They woke up," Ranboo muttered nervously, glancing between the two quickly. "Tommy and Tubbo. But they, uh, they're not- they're still not doing so well."

Phil's heart sunk.

"Their injuries are getting worse?" he said softly, forehead creasing with anxiety.

Ranboo shook his head instantly. "No, that's not what I mean. It's just. I came into the room and Tommy immediately acted like I'd come to slice his throat out, and Tubbo was like a wild animal. He wouldn't let me near them."

He wrung his hands in a rapid pace, eyes flitting around. "I didn't even do anything! I assured Tubbo that I wasn't there to hurt them, that I wouldn't hurt Tommy, that I'd never hurt Tommy, but he clearly didn't believe me. And Tommy was panicking, and I guess maybe I scared him or something because they woke me up.

Or something."

He was rambling now, and he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

"You can come see them now, I think, it's just-" he looked to the side for a split second, and Techno could have sworn Ranboo had glared at him with scrutiny, "-I don't think they should be approached. And don't surprise them, because that didn't go so well for me. I- I don't think either of them would hesitate to stab one of us for the other," he mumbled, "and there's... war instincts, and all, to consider."

Phil shook his head, because this sounded the opposite of good. Tubbo and Tommy had always been the trusting type. Since they were little. He'd have to warn them over and over again not to talk to strangers, not to accept foreign gifts, because their curiosities and their friendliness was easily taken advantage of.

But now they were teenagers; they weren't little boys anymore. They'd gone on their own way when they were still children, led by Phil's eldest son, and seen horrors that Phil was incapable of imagining.

People could change. People could change this drastically.

And Phil hated it.

\--------------------------

Ranboo had warned Tubbo that Phil and Techno were going to come see them.

Tubbo's heart was beating steadily with fear, because the last time he'd seen his best friend's brother, he'd destroyed their entire nation and stood over Tubbo like some sort of rabid dog, screaming about traitors and government and corruptness. 

And then he'd started shooting.

Tubbo closed his eyes tightly. God, it had hurt so much. He'd been pierced by arrow after arrow after arrow. He'd felt nothing but constant fear, scrambling between the TNT, heart racing as he struggled to look for Tommy, searching for the blonde's hair and bright blue eyes because _he was never letting him out of his sight ever again._

When Techno had began to release his anger on Tommy, that, _that_ was when Tubbo had finally stood still.

He froze on a tiny mound of rock and didn't even move when the the explosives erupted next to him and the wither shot a skull aimed straight for his head because that was when he knew, _for sure,_ that it was his fault.

He'd tried to remain peaceful.

He'd truly believed exiled Tommy would make everything better.

But this was all showing him that he'd been worse than wrong, he was getting them _killed._

He was getting _Tommy KILLED._

So he shut his eyes and let the TNT throw him into the air, let the wither's weapon slam into his skull, because Tubbo deserved it. He was the cause of the problem, and this was the solution.

Now, Tubbo opened his eyes again. He braced himself for what was about to come. If he was still alive, then he had to make up for what he'd done.

_Nothing is going to hurt Tommy. Nothing at all._

He glanced back at his best friend, who was silently staring at him with wide eyes, his hands shaking even though they were clamped together in his lap, his hair falling in such a way that it hid his face. Again Tubbo felt a rush of anger at himself, at Ranboo, at Techno, and he forced himself to look back at the doorway, perched between it and Tommy like a mediator.

 _Nothing at all._


	4. run away with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a really shitty filler chapter and i'm sorry, just tryna transition from one thing to the next
> 
> anyway how we feeling after the disc finale :)) idk what to think lol
> 
> TW: yelling, anxiety, harsh tones, referenced murder/attempted murder, referenced explosions, violence, violent threats

Phil and Ranboo entered first, but Techno made sure to be close behind them.

There was a feeling of dread in his stomach, and he swallowed down deep nausea.

A part of him was furious at Phil for bringing the personifications of all of his regrets into his own home. Terrified of showing the vulnerability he felt when he was around those two.

He shook his hair out, a nervous stim that he tried to do as discreetly as possible, and the pig-man fiddled with his mask. He was standing - practically hiding - behind Ranboo, using the teen's extreme height to his advantage. He was glad that they couldn't see what he looked like under this mask. Was glad that they couldn't see how scared he was of their reaction to him being there.

"Tubbo," Phil said softly. Techno shifted, just barely, so he could see the boys at an angle.

They were sitting on Tommy's bed, the red comforter ruffled and unmade from many a night of restless sleep. Both had their legs crossed the way they'd been taught when they were as young as three, and Techno saw how Tommy was playing with the black hem of his ripped bandana and how Tubbo was sitting, just barely, in front of his friend.

Neither of the two looked up when Phil spoke.

"Tubbo," Ranboo tried, looking at them nervously. Tubbo's head rose a centimeter, and so the enderman considered that permission enough to speak. "Tubbo, we're going to need you and Tommy to... to sit down with everyone. Have a civilized conversation. We can't help you unless we know what's going on, so please... just... let us do the best that we can."

The room was silent for several moments as Tubbo's head turned to look at Tommy, unspoken words between them. Techno watched as Tommy's eyes flickered over to him for the briefest of seconds, and he quickly pressed himself flat against the wall, the beat of his heart jumping significantly. He wasn't sure why he was so worried about Tommy seeing him. 

Maybe he just didn't want to see the disgust on the boy's face.

Or the terror. For anyone else Techno would have relished in the fact that he was respected and feared by nearly everyone, but not his brother.

Not his little brother.

"Fuck off," Tubbo snapped suddenly, and Techno flinched lightly. Tubbo rarely swore unless he was extremely angry.

The boy stood up, his knees shaking from lack of use and energy. "Are you _kidding_ me? _'We can't help you unless we know what's going on.'_ Really. Are you so incredibly dumb that it's not obvious? Tommy and I had to watch our entire nation get destroyed by you and-"

Tubbo shut his eyes tightly, a tremor running through his whole body.

"Whatever. I'm not-I'm not speaking to you about this. If you haven't figured it out yet, then that's on you."

\-----------------------

"It's like that saying."

They were standing outside in the snow, trying to giving the boys as much room as possible. Ranboo was in the pen with Carl, trying to stay out of the way of the snowflakes, which burned his skin when they melted.

Techno's robe was soaked and dirty at the hem, where it lay in the sludge and muck, but he didn't seem to care. He simply stood straight, ears twitching once in awhile, his arms crossed. Phil was between the two, glancing back at the house every few seconds, hoping the two teenagers inside of it were alright.

"Which saying?" Techno asked, his voice gruff. He didn't like being left out of things.

"You know," Ranboo continued on, his voice void of emotion as he braided the horse's mane. " _'It was the straw that broke the camel's back.'_ Or something like that." Both of the other men rose their eyebrows, and the enderman took a deep breath.

"What I'm saying is, they've lived here so much longer than I have, and I've heard the stories. I wasn't there when Wilbur blew up L'manberg, or when you shot Tubbo with that crossbow, Technoblade, but I've heard the stories. I know what happened. And here's the thing, right? I-" Phil and Techno were startled as Ranboo suddenly let out a pained cackle, leaning on the horse. "-even _I've_ had my fair share of-of... breakdowns, if you will. Tears. Bad situations. When Tommy was exiled, _alone_ , because of _me?"_ He locked eyes with Techno. "That hurt, more than anything else I've ever experienced. I should've been there for him. I should've been there."

He cleared his throat and went back to Carl's hair, brushing it between his fingers and long nails.

"But. Never once did I see Tommy stop or slow down. I spent everyday with Tubbo, feeling like... like my guilt was eating me away, crying myself to sleep at night, wishing I could visit him but never having the _time,_ and Tommy- the person who was actually exiled, who took that freaking _bullet for ME,_ _he_ was the one who remained strong throughout it all."

He motioned around them.

"What if that just wasn't meant to last?"

\-------------------------

It took four days to coax Tommy and Tubbo out of their room, and significant bribing. Phil had literally been about to resort to drastic measures - calling Quackity over - when Tubbo slipped into the hallway. 

He'd looked around cautiously, eyes landing on Phil, and then offered the man a forced smile. Everyone in the house had stopped in their tracks and stood absolutely still, not wanting to scare away the kid.

"Hey, Tubbo." Phil nodded at him slowly before peering behind Tubbo, wondering if Tommy was there, shielded by his friend's body. Tubbo simply narrowed his eyes at the older man, who hesitated before deciding it would be best not to be sneaky.

He went about it a different way.

"Is, uh, is Tommy there with you?"

Tubbo's lips tightened into a thin line, before shaking his head tightly. "No. Just me. I was just w- we were wondering," he quickly glanced over to the room he'd just exited, "we were wondering if we could have something to do. It's, it's terribly boring in there, and Tommy's so excitable that he might bite my head off if he were to think it would bring enough entertainment, and there's just so many times one person can spin around in a circle before they fall out the window!"

He cracked a tiny grin, and Phil hastily breathed out in a relieved chuckle, taking a quick glance at Ranboo and Techno behind him, who's faces had also relaxed into less-stressed replicants.

Tubbo had joked. Joking was good. Joking was wonderful. Jokes were the opposite of panic attacks and painful memories.

But the boy hadn't finished.

"Also," he added seriously, "seeing as how you've basically kidnapped us and locked us in your house right after you successfully blew up our only home and then tried to murder us, I think we deserve a little bit of fun, don't you?"

And just like that, the relief had vanished.

Phil stared at Tubbo for several long moments as everyone in the hallway froze, unsure of what to do. He blinked in disbelief and opened his mouth to apologize, to explain, to do _anything,_ but nothing came out.

Ranboo nervously fetched a couple play-things, stuff like invis potions and tridents and discs, and quickly gave them to Tubbo, who gave the enderman a huge, exaggerated smile before trotting back into the room.

He slammed the door behind him, and the three left outside winced.

Okay. So Tubbo was a bit pissed, sure. Well, maybe a bit more than that.

Phil pulled off the green and white bucket hat and ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

\---------------------

Tommy watched as Tubbo crossed the room, a pile of things in his hands, a self-satisfied smile on his face. "Look what I've got," he told the other boy gleefully, dropping the items on the floor. Tommy raised an eyebrow and stretched out his stiff legs before pushing himself off of the bed, joining Tubbo on the floor.

"How the hell did you get these from them?" he asked quietly, and a mischievous glint passed over Tubbo's eyes. "Told them a sob story. Wasn't completely true, but wasn't a lie either."

He handed Tommy a trident and a stack of pearls, and the boy's eyes widened. He looked up at Tubbo. "But with these we could, we could-"

Tubbo took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Yeah, big man. I know. I think we should get out of here, when you're ready. I just don't trust them. All those lies about regret and care and..." his eyes rose to look at the ceiling. "Well, it's not true. Techno's made it clear over and over again that he'll always be on the side of anarchy, always on the side opposite of the government. And you and I," he trailed off, looking at Tommy, who was nodding along silently, "you and I are both former governmental leaders. Of high positions, even. Technoblade would never change his mind for us, not after all that."

"As well as Phil..." Tommy added softly, and a grave expression filled Tubbo's face. "Yeah. So, listen. I know you might not want to leave, seeing as how.. seeing as how they're your family and all, and if you want to stay... then... then I'll stay with you. But please consider it, because, I can't... every time I look at them it's just the crater all over again, Techno's crossbow all over again, Phil and the withers all over again. They haven't shown any remorse. For _fuck's_ sake, they haven't even _apologized_." Tubbo hesitated before looking at his best friend, wanting to say sorry for making him act as a tie-breaker, but Tommy was already beginning to speak.

"No, you're right. He joined Dream." Tommy's voice was pinched and tired as he itched his healing palms with bandaged fingers. "He joined Dream after I told him, after he knew..." his words were choppy and thick with emotion as he struggled not to cry, struggled to stay strong for Tubbo. Said boy recognized the internal conflict immediately; after all, Tommy had done it many a time. Too often a time.

"It's alright," he whispered in a soothing voice, wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulder. "There's no need for you to explain yourself. I understand. If you don't want to stay, then we won't."

Tommy shook his head with intent, and Tubbo felt a rush of anger rise to his head, almost making him numb from feeling, as he saw how badly the betrayal had hurt Tommy.

He wanted to scream at Technoblade for joining Dream without a second thought, for trying to kill his only brother, for persistently never allowing Tubbo to have the _one_ thing he'd always wanted: peace.

And he wanted to take a thousand withers and set them loose on Philza's home, his pride, and stand safely away from harm as _he_ watched his life's work get completely destroyed within seconds.

Tubbo didn't realize how much he'd tensed up, his fists tightened at his sides and his jaw hardened to the point that his teeth hurt, until Tommy reached for Tubbo's hand in a reassuring way, leaning his head on Tubbo's shoulder. His eyes closed midway as he told his friend, "It's alright. Please don't get angry for me," and his voice sounded so tired, so lost and far away, that Tubbo couldn't bring himself to remind Tommy that he'd _always_ gotten angry on Tubbo's behalf and _never_ let him take any bullets not meant for him.

So he forced himself to relax, leaning against the wall of the bedroom as the sun slowly sunk down behind the snow-capped hills outside, waiting until Tommy began snoring softly next to him to carefully push his best friend off of him, snuggling under the blankets and listening, wide awake, to Tommy's consistent breathing.

It was hours before he finally fell asleep.

\----------------------------

"Hey, Tubbo... Tommy... you guys up?"

Ranboo knocked on the door once, looking down at the plate of food in his hands. Ever since the boys had locked themselves in their room and refused to see anyone they didn't trust, Ranboo had been put in charge of making sure they had what they needed and weren't starving to death in there.

There was no answer to his inquiry and he shifted his weight from leg to the other, glancing out the window in the hallway. The sun had only been up for a few hours - they probably weren't awake yet.

He grasped the door handle and pulled it, just barely, so the door opened a crack. He peeked inside, the anxious side of him wondering briefly if they'd somehow been injured, before breathing out slowly when he saw them both lying on the bed, Tommy's mouth open as he snored and Tubbo almost completely under the blankets, the only visible thing being his brown hair. Ranboo's tail quickly danced around his body with thankfulness at the sight of them safe and getting some rest. It'd been a tough few weeks.

He silently slipped in and moved quickly over to the desk where Tubbo had dumped all of the gifts Ranboo had provided them with, making room for the plates of steaming food. On the dishes were baked potatoes, sliced apples, and cooked mutton - Ranboo had assumed Tommy probably didn't particularly enjoy eating steak, and the last thing he wanted to do right now was make the younger teen uncomfortable - and he smiled at his good work, glad that he was providing them with at least _something_ (Ranboo had been feeling pretty useless, as he wasn't the best with healing or protecting or even the delicate act of comforting someone).

Then something moved in the corner of his eye, and he spun around reflexively, assuming the worst, hands gripping the edges of the table tightly. Then he froze for a moment, realizing that it was just Tubbo fidgeting in his sleep, and wondering if he'd woken the boy up.

But several minutes passed before either of them moved again, and finally he sighed, taking one last glance around the room to make sure everything was in order, and left as silently as he'd arrived.


	5. escape?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school is hell :)
> 
> TW: anxiety, panic attacks, cursing, yelling (some all caps), explosions, referenced manipulation, referenced injury, mentions of death/murder

The second Ranboo left the room Tubbo and Tommy threw the blanket off themselves, meeting each other's eyes, flashing identical grins. In an instant Tubbo was across the room, standing in front of the food happily. Tommy followed close behind, yawning as he stretched out of the stiffness he'd slept with.

"So, Big T, how we gettin' out of this?" he asked easily, running a hand through his messy blonde hair. Tubbo reached out for a fork and quickly swallowed down an entire potato (they were small, to be fair) before answering.

"I'm not sure about going when there's all this snow," the smaller boy answered, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "I don't know how you lived here for two weeks, Tommy, I freeze my ass off at night."

Tommy winced but didn't let it show. He pulled up a chair next to his best friend and leaned against the tiny table, resting his chin on his hands, watching Tubbo as he crammed the delicious food in his mouth. There was no judgement in his thoughts.

"What does that mean, exactly?" he asked after a moment. "Do you want to wait until, like... summertime? To leave?" the stress shone through in his tone of voice, and Tommy bit his tongue. He stared down at his plate of food, tapping his fingers against his thigh as he struggled to control his breathing. 

"No, that's- no, of course not, buddy. I don't want to stay here any longer than you do," Tubbo assured him, alarmed. "It's just, well. I don't have much in terms of the clothing compartment and you're so thin that the wind would probably blow you sky-high."

"I'm not thin!" Tommy retaliated defensively, and Tubbo patted him on the shoulder with the slightest of smiles on his face. "Of course not, of course not. But either way, we wouldn't make it out there in the zero-degree weather for long and I'm not in the mood for a suicide mission, as tempting as that would be."

I am, the dark side of Tommy's brain retorted stubbornly, and the blonde sucked in his breath so quickly that he almost choked on his own saliva.

"Alright there?" Tubbo asked curiously, and when the shock finally faded away to leave Tommy concerned that such a thought would dare be so intrusive, he turned slowly to see the other boy eyeing him like he was a ticking time-bomb.

He slumped down in his seat and muttered, "Fine."

Tubbo hesitated, as though waiting for Tommy to suddenly speak up and explain more, before nodding and continuing. "Okay. So... there's got to be, like... flint and steel. And extra armor and warmer clothes, I mean, come on, this is Technoblade we're talking about." A deep shiver ran down Tommy's spine. "There's no way he doesn't have all that and more."

"How in the hell are we supposed to get our hands on that stuff, though? I tried that once - believe me - and all I got was a lecture and accused of being a raccoon. Techno's like a fucking bat, man. He uses echolocation and shit, knows where all his stuff is." 

Tubbo rolled his eyes.

"Okay, sure. What do we do - get Ranboo to steal them for us?"

"Ranboob's not a better thief than I am," Tommy said hotly, and a mischievous glint flickered through his eyes. "But that's just fine. I think I know where we might be able to get some stuff, if it's still there."

\-------------------------------------

It was past midnight when they snuck out, wearing black leather (Tubbo had tried to convince Tommy that the gear was unnecessary, because if they were caught all anyone would have to do was turn on the lights to see them, but Tommy had snuck out the window and returned gleefully with a stack of leather in his arms, shouting "We're like ninjas!" and sometimes there was just no refusing that boy).

Tubbo had asked repeatedly where this mysterious place was, and how Tommy knew about it, but the younger boy refused to spill the secrets. When Tubbo saw how elated his best friend was to finally be doing something, noticing the huge increase in his energy that hadn't been there even twenty-four hours ago, he decided to shut up. He knew Tommy had a way of desperately trying to control things that were uncontrollable when he was put in bad situations, and sneaking around a god's house in the middle of the night was definitely one of those things.

  
They opened their door so slowly that hours seemed to pass before the hallway was completely visible, and then slunk around corners as they went deeper into the house, pressed against the walls like paintings. Tubbo counted mentally as they descended two flights of stairs - finding themselves in the basement.

He looked around, peering through the darkness, not knowing what he was looking for, but the room was nothing more than a few meters wide.   
It was damp and cold and smelled sickeningly like death.

"Tommy," Tubbo whispered nervously, because it was the same scent that'd clogged his nose when he'd been laying there next to his best friend on the rocky ground, unable to move. Gunpowder and smoke and screaming and pain and Tommy is dead and, and-

"You said the stuff was here, Tommy, where is it?" he said a bit louder, trying to block out the noise that filled his head. His hand searched through the night until it found Tommy's bandaged one, and then he gripped onto it tightly. Tommy wasn't dead. Tommy was here.

"Just wait a minute," Tommy answered impatiently. He knelt next to the ground, pulling Tubbo along with him, before running his fingers over the stone. "What the fuck," he mumbled to himself, before shaking his head, frowning.

"What is it?" Tubbo asked, biting his lip. "Are they- is it gone? Techno probably moved it, Tommy, he probably knows about it, and please, let's just go, Tommy, it's not there- what are you even looking for it-" He stood up, pulling on Tommy's arm and ready to leave, but almost toppled over when the other boy didn't move.

"Tommy, please can we go?" he tried, tears brewing in his eyes as he struggled to choke back a sob, "Let's go, please, I don't want to stay here any longer." The darkness and the smell was overwhelming him, and the shouts and explosions in his head too loud to ignore.

But Tommy had always been stubborn, and he seemed too focused to notice how much Tubbo was in pain. "Just need a pickaxe," he said to himself, and suddenly he leapt up and started hurrying up the stairs. Tubbo was right behind him.

\---------------------------

"What the hell are you doing?" Tubbo asked, anxiously bouncing up and down. Tommy had been searching through the chest for three minutes now, though for what Tubbo didn't know-

"Aha!" was the answer, and he held up a diamond pickaxe triumphantly. It glistened with magic enchantments, and Tubbo watched with disappointment as Tommy immediately descended the stairs once again.

"Can't we just slow down...." he trailed off as Tommy went out of view, deaf to Tubbo's words.

The boy sighed but followed anyway, promising himself he wouldn't make a racket for his best friend's sake. 

When he reached the bottom steps, it didn't smell as bad as it had before. Maybe this was because he'd gotten used to it, or because he had prepared himself and was expecting the scent. Either way he felt a shudder of relief run through his body, and the clutter in his brain died down to white noise. Now, he focused on the present.

"What the hell are you trying to do?"

Tommy lifted the pickaxe over his shoulder before slamming it down on the ground, causing huge cracks in the concrete. Tubbo looked around nervously, sure that someone would hear the loud banging.

"Techno's gonna notice if a big hole shows up in his basement, y'know."

Tommy shrugged. "We'll be out of here by morning, Big Man. He won't know what hit him."

Tubbo raised an eyebrow. They hadn't decided when they would leave, not specifically. He'd thought they'd have more time to prepare. More time to lower suspicions. A part of Tubbo felt guilty for leaving Ranboo like this. A part of him was tired of having no home.

But then again, being homeless was better than living with Technoblade.

Tubbo watched for several long minutes as Tommy hit the ground again and again with the item, the crack growing wider and wider until Tubbo could see that the floor was hollow underneath. Under normal circumstances, with a worse tool, it would have taken them hours to even make a dent, but at most ten minutes had passed.

Every once in awhile the scent would come drifting back into Tubbo's nostrils, and he'd have to rub his nose furiously until it would go away, heart jumping in panic. _Stay strong for Tommy. Always stay strong for Tommy._

Finally Tommy wiped the sweat off his forehead and straightened his back. The hole was now large enough to jump through.

Tubbo peeked over the edge, but couldn't see anything. "It's awfully dark down there," he whispered anxiously. At least up here light shown down from the rooms upstairs, but underneath Techno's basement it was pitch black.

"I'll go get a torch," Tommy murmured, ruffling Tubbo's hair fondly before disappearing once again. Tubbo smiled, but it was a bit grim. Under better circumstances, what would they be doing right now?

He leaned against the wall, letting old memories resurface. Chasing Bad, probably. Tommy would convince Tubbo into holding the shapeless creature of darkness down as the taller boy would holler curse words until he fell down in fits of laughter, Bad's voice going hoarse as he consistently barked, "Language!"

Tubbo missed those times. They were better. Not always. Not always. But they seemed better when he looked back at them now.

When Tommy came back, a torch illuminating the right side of his face, Tubbo pulled himself out of the past. Their present was critical, their future unstable at best.

Tubbo dropped down first.

He was scared - terrified, really, because Tubbo didn't much like dark places - but he felt like he had a duty. 

He wished he'd stayed on top.

The smell was putrid here. Immediately the dynamite, the withers, smoke and death and the horrible feeling of gunpowder entering his lungs came flooding back, and Tubbo gasped, wavering on his legs.

He pulled his shirt over his nose and closed his eyes tightly until it faded away. Pinched the side of his stomach, hard, so his mind wouldn't enter a different realm. Their lives were at stake. Tommy's life was at stake.

He hadn't even bothered to check their surroundings.

When Tommy followed, pickaxe in his hands, he wished he had.

Immediately the younger boy made a strangled noise, like a warped cry. Tubbo's eyes shot open and he remembered that he was holding the torch. He held it up, and his heart sunk slowly as the light reflected against ruined walls and broken signs.

"Oh, God..." he said, horrified, his words muffled from under his shirt.

\-------------------------------------

Tommy almost threw up right then and there.

Black dots started dancing across his eyes, and he put a hand against the dusty wall for support, trying not to pass out. But it looked exactly the same.

"He blew it up."

He didn't even realize it when the words came out of his mouth. Couldn't pay attention to the way Tubbo was spinning, the fire on his stick wavering as he quickly thrust his arm out. The way his eyes widened when he saw Tommy. 

_He blew it up._

_He blew up Dnret like Dream blew up Logstedshire. Like Logstedshire, like how he blew up my tent and my things and Tubbo's picture and Tubbo. And Tubbo, he blew up Tubbo. Where's Tubbo?_

He staggered, eyes misty but still catching glimpses of a broken bell, a sign torn in half, the tunnel leading to Ghostbur's home that was now half as long. His bed, his old bed, was gone. The smell of smoke and dynamite still lingering in the air.

And then there were cows and apples and mushroom soup, and spinning, and disappointed _"don't do that"_ s and then there was Dream, holding out the TNT and the flint and steel and you've fucked up again and apathetic, Tubbo, Technoblade's there again and Technoblade's there but where's Tubbo? The discs aren't worth more than you, Tubbo, I'm sorry please don't go please don't leave me, you'll still visit me.

"No, please Dream, I'm sorry, please don't leave me, _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I SAID I WAS SORRY!"_ he pleaded, tears falling so fast they might as well have been rain.

His mind flashed through images so fast he drowsily wondered if he was having a heart attack. But then Tubbo was there, and he thought to himself, _"Tubbo wouldn't let me have a heart attack,"_ and then his body became too heavy to hold up and his mind too scrambled to keep working and then, very quickly, everything went away.


	6. caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this chapter isnt longer :[ maybe next one lel
> 
> TW: yelling, cursing, anxiety, referenced abuse, referenced manipulation

_Plonk._

_Plunk._

_Plink._

Tommy watched as Tubbo counted their ender pearls, letting one slip out of his grasp every time his number increased.

They hadn't spoken about last night. Hadn't spoken since last night. Tubbo hadn't asked any questions, and Tommy hadn't offered any answers, but he could see the cogs turning in Tubbo's mind.

Tubbo was good at figuring stuff out.

_Clink._

_Plink._

_Plonk._

"Fuck!" Tubbo suddenly hissed, and Tommy jumped, startled. The shorter boy smacked the table once before running his hands through his hair furiously, causing it to stick up in multiple directions.

"What's wrong?" Tommy asked carefully, his hand starting to itch as he wondered if Tubbo was angry with him.

He bit his lip, because when people were angry they always did horrible, horrible things to him, without exception.

He stood up warily, eyes flicking between the door and his best friend.

"We don't have enough ender pearls to get all the way back through the Overworld. We're gonna have to travel in the Nether," Tubbo said bitterly, but Tommy could hear the lie.

"Tell me the truth, Tubbo." He took a step forward in the direction of the exit. _Shut up. Don't say things that'll piss him off._

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tubbo answered, his voice oddly quiet compared to just a few seconds earlier.

"Ju-just tell me, please, spit it out," Tommy pleaded, and then pinched himself, hard. _Dumbass._

"Fine, Tommy. You know what's wrong? I've been waiting patiently, respecting your freaking boundaries, giving you time and space because I know that's important to you, but you ke-you keep throwing that away and putting yourself in danger without question or a single thought about me, because if you die or if you get hurt what the hell am I supposed to do without you? Okay? So that's why I'm upset. I haven't asked you a single thing about what happened to you in exile, because I felt like it was for the best. But now? Now? Tommy, Tommy... what _happened_ to you..."

Tommy's stomach was twisted up into a knot. His knees shook and he grabbed onto the door handle, keeping himself balanced.

"I... what happened yesterday wasn't my fault-"

"I'm not even talking about that! You- when Lman-when L'manberg was blown up, Tommy, you spent every moment trying to take Techno on by yourself, wouldn't let me do a single thing to help you, it was fucking selfish."

"I-" Tommy started, terribly confused. 

"I can't live without you, Tommy. You need to stop fucking sacrificing yourself for me because it's a waste of life. It's a waste of life. I'm nothing without you."

Tommy's mouth opened and closed like a fish.

Tubbo mouth twitched, like he had more to say, but he only shook his head an inch and turned back to their items, touching them each like he was doing something productive. 

But Tubbo's mind was somewhere else. He couldn't bare to look Tommy in the eyes. He knew Tommy hadn't even considered Tubbo's feelings. How he'd feel if his best friend, his other half, were to die.

He just put his life at risk, over and over, without a single thought. Without a single care for himself.

It was so _stupidly_ selfless. 

And idiotically arrogant at the same time.

"I'm sorry, Tubbo.. look, I just- I didn't want your pity. Don't want your pity."

Tubbo listened carefully for the real explanation, but nothing came. He sucked in air quickly between his teeth, fingers clenched tightly around a golden apple.

"There you go again. Not telling me things that'll keep you safe- you know that's all I want from you, is to know that you're safe, that you'll always be safe."

"I can't promise that," Tommy whispered. "You know I can't promise that."

Tubbo shook his head. He was disappointed. Not surprised. But very disappointed. _Just once, put your life before mine,_ he begged the other boy inwardly.

The room went quiet as Tommy stood still by the door and Tubbo began gathering up their remaining things. He shoved them in Tommy's pack- the only thing in the room that actually belonged to them.

That reminded Tommy of something, and his eyes widened a bit. He couldn't believe he'd just forgotten.

"Did you find the armor and stuff?"

Tubbo sighed. That was just like Tommy, to move past the painful subjects and jump to new, happier, ones, pretending it'd never happened. "Can't run from your problems," he muttered, but to Tommy he responded, "Kinda. There was a chest.. in that room. A lot of the stuff was destroyed, but I found some spare things. Should be enough to get us out of here and through the Nether."

Tommy nodded. His hand began itching under the bandages again, and he scratched at it furiously.

"Okay. Good. Good. please, can we get out of here then? I just want- I just want to leave. Can't think clearly in this fuckin' house."

Tubbo nodded. He told himself that he'd convince Tommy into opening up later. Their safety was important. More important than an argument, though a large part of him still stubbornly wanted to know.

"Okay. Yeah. Right. Actually, we could go right now. If you'd like."

Tommy brightened. "Seriously? But don't you think someone will notice-"

Tubbo shook his head immediately, a sneaky smile slithering across his face. "Naw. I splashed sleeping potions on everyone after you'd passed out. Didn't want them to wake up while I was dragging your body out of that fucking hole - they'd probably think I'd murdered you or realize that we were planning on escaping." He shrugged. "Should last a couple more hours."

Tommy snickered. "Really? You fuckin' player."

It only took a few minutes for them to pull on the heavy armor and then crawl out the window, magic pack in Tubbo's arms. The second their feet hit the cold snow they were off. Tommy led the way to Techno's Nether portal, looking behind him every once in awhile, because although he trusted Tubbo, he wasn't sure he trusted the boy's knowledge of drugs (after all, no one knew them like Tommy did)

It would only take a second of searching for someone like Techno to realize they were gone, and even less time for him to find them, and then Tommy would be back and trapped again.

Trapped again with Techno, who would probably lock him in a room away from his best friend, and brainwash him, because Tubbo had been the president of a now-gone L'manberg, and just like Dream he would think Tommy was better off without him.

Tommy shivered as he ran, and he couldn't tell if it was because of the thought of being completely alone once again, or because of the freezing cold armor settled on his skin.

They stopped in front of the mysterious purple portal, ate a golden apple each, and then entered together, swords in hand.

\------------------------------------

Phil burst into Techno's room without even a warning or a 'hello.'

He'd been sitting on the bed, half-asleep with a book in his hands, mask slipping down his face, and was jolted from his semi-conscious state with terrified surprise, his hand reaching automatically for an axe that wasn't there.

"What the heck?" he asked, annoyed, slumping back down into the bedsheets when he saw it was just his father. 

Techno failed to notice the panic in his eyes.

"Get up," Phil demanded sharply, and he tossed a sword to the hybrid, who managed to catch it just in time.

"I- what?"

"They're gone."

Techno's eyebrows rose slightly.

"Tommy and Tubbo are gone."

He stared blankly at Phil, sure he hadn't heard correctly. 

Tommy wouldn't dare.

 _He would, he would, he would,_ the voices in his head cackled.

"Gone?" he asked weakly.

Phil nodded gravely before glancing up at the clock hanging above Techno's door.

"Left a few hours ago, it would seem."

 _Dead, dead, dead,_ his unwelcomed friends called out gleefully.

"They won't make it out there."

Phil shook his head. "No, they won't."

Technoblade got up and came.

\----------------------------------

"They've been planning this for awhile," Ranboo murmured. "Everything I gave to them that day - the trident, swords, the gapples and ender pearls? Gone. Food missing from the chests in the spare room upstairs. And I don't know about you guys, but I typically don't sleep in until three in the afternoon; at least not at all lately."

"They sleeping pot-ed us," Techno realized.

"What the fuck," Phil commented, and it wasn't a question.

"Not only that, but- when you went and got Techno, Phil, I searched around the house real quick just to make sure we had looked everywhere. And, well, it looks like they might have made a safe room or something downstairs... the cement floor's been recently broken and rebuilt. I tried to get in, but I was- uh, too tall."

Phil and Techno exchanged glances, ones that identically read ' _Tommy's hideout,'_ and Ranboo didn't miss it.

"What? You guys look like you know what I'm talking about."

Techno opened his mouth to tell the half-enderman that it was nothing, but Phil beat him to it. "Just a little rat's nest that Tommy'd been using to store stolen goods in when he first lived here," his father explained. "Not a big deal."

Ranboo's small nose wrinkled. "It smelled like a pack of creepers were living in it."

Techno felt the tiniest strand of guilt wiggle its way up into his throat.

"I- uhm... yeah." He glanced down quickly, ashamed. That impulsive mistake was one he'd been regretting for awhile now.

"Yeah," Ranboo repeated. "'Yeah' isn't much of an explanation." His spear-tipped tail twitched.

Techno didn't offer a better one, and Ranboo huffed.

"Listen; all cards are on the table here. My friends - my best friends, maybe - could get killed because you wanted to keep a stupid detail to yourself. If Tommy knew that his base had been destroyed, why would he return back there?"

It felt more like an accusation than a question.

"I blew it up," Techno muttered under his breath.

"Hm? Can't hear you over the sound of self-preservation," Ranboo said harshly, and Techno fought the urge to slap him right across his black-and-white face.

"I blew it up," he barked loudly. "I blew it up, and I'm not proud of it, alright? Alright? Happy? That's the one thing I'm not proud of, okay. It was a spur-of-the-moment stupid thing to do. Yeah, I know. I hope the knowledge is useful to you, because otherwise I would have felt better just keeping that to myself."

Ranboo nodded slowly, his eyes flickering to Phil. _That's right, that's right,_ the voices chanted chaotically in his head. 

_Fear us._

**_Fear us._ **

"Genuinely, seriously," the enderman told Techno, "that information should be helpful. If Tommy didn't know it was blown up, then going there - probably looking for, I don't know, leftover supplies - might have caused them to run away. I mean," he motioned with his hand, tail slithering like a snake's would, "if I saw that my mean older brother went all psycho and took a sledgehammer to my safe place-" (Techno winced) "- then I would want to get out of here quickly too."

"You said they'd been preparing this for awhile," Phil pointed out, and Ranboo faltered.

"Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Or- I don't know. It could be either. It could be both. I mean, for all we know they were kidnapped." Both of the other men's eyes widened - this they hadn't considered. "In the end, it doesn't really matter. There's only so many places they could have gotten to in that weather."

He looked out the window, and Techno followed the enderman's gaze. The snow was coming down now, like a cloud of white, and the pig-man knew, with a start, that if they waited any longer the boys' footprints would be covered, and then they would have no leads to follow.


	7. the nether

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was very fast-paced and im sorry *sighs* its always too slow or too quick mmm
> 
> CW: blood, graphic depictions of violence and injury, pain, referenced violence  
> TW: panic attacks, anxiety, unintentional self-harm, disordered eating

Tubbo had immediately began hurrying across the cobblestone path laid before him, eager to spend as little time as possible in the hellscape, but Tommy stopped in his tracks. The smaller boy went a little ways before turning around, confused, noticing the lack of presence at his side.

"Tommy," he called sharply. "Tommy, come on." 

He walked towards his stand-still friend. 

"You okay?"

"Fucking peachy," Tommy answered sarcastically, and he kicked a piece of rubble onto the netherrack. He side-glanced at the lava only a few meters away, and Tubbo began tapping his foot, looking behind them nervously. 

"C'mon, man, we can't stay here." He watched a magma cube on the other side of the lava lake as it jumped off a cliff, committing suicide.

"I know," Tommy acknowledged. "Fuck, I know, just- just- let's go. I'm fine." Tubbo bit his lip to keep from asking what was wrong. _Later._

After a moment of reluctant hesitation, they continued on their way at a faster pace. It was awkwardly silent for a few minutes, besides the sounds of zombie piglins roaming around peacefully and the occasional screech of a ghast (that seemed to freak Tommy out), until Tubbo asked quietly, "Uh, you made this cobblestone thing, didn't you? My god, it's ugly."

Tommy's nose crinkled. "What the fuck? This is the most beautiful path anyone has ever made on the server. It's made of cobblestone, bitch. Why the hell wouldn't you like it?"

"It's all gray and boring... and," the smaller boy added uneasily as a group of zombie piglins stumbled their way onto the road, "not very stable."

"Fuck you. It's ghast-proof; what more could anyone want? I worked my ass off to make it and here you are, not appreciating how much I care about the people that walk along it," Tommy huffed.

"Obsidian is ghast-proof too, why didn't you make it out of that?"

"...how rich do you think I am, Tubbo Underscore?"

"Oh, please, it's just your unhealthy obsession with the disgusting block," Tubbo taunted him as they walked, sweat dripping down their backs. "Do you want me to be the priest that marries you two?"

Tommy punched Tubbo in the shoulder. 

\-------------------------

After an hour of walking, Tubbo suggested taking a break, and his younger friend happily agreed. His chest was heaving - it'd been awhile since Tommy had done such intensive cardio - and the piglins were getting anxious. 

Both boys were dehydrated and yet continuously had to wipe sweat from their foreheads and eyes, the liquid evaporating in only a matter of seconds.

They sat down on a clump of obsidian leftover from another member's travels, the hard rock cool underneath them, and Tubbo pulled out a couple of water bottles and fire resistance potions, half of which he handed to Tommy.

"Fuck," the boy hissed as he drank greedily and messily, the water dripping into his lap and then immediately disintegrating. "How much longer do you think, Tubbs? I'm roasting."

Tubbo chugged the entire cup before answering. "I have no idea," he said honestly, taking large breaths. "It's been weeks since I was last in the Nether, and even then I never came to this area." He rummaged through their pack before pulling out a stack of cooked porkchop and handing a couple to Tommy. "Anyway, we should get going. Eat quickly."

Tommy made a face at the meat and shook his head. "Nah, I'm not hungry. Keep it. You'll probably need it more than I do. Wouldn't want you to fucking starve to death when we're going through hell."

Tubbo took the food back hesitantly, and he looked at his friend with a careful narrowing of his eyes. Tommy only stared back seriously, the slightest of smiles on his face.

Tubbo sighed and put it back in the container, and the second he turned around Tommy felt the grin melt off his face, replaced with a grim frown; and he poked at the hot ash of the Nether floor with his bandaged hand, barely noticing as it burned the tip of his finger. 

"We should go," Tubbo said after a second, and without a word Tommy nodded and stood up.

\--------------------------

They'd been wandering for two hours, relying desperately on the cobble path and Tommy's poor sense of navigation, when the first sparks of trouble arose. Until now the boys had been walking easily down the road (well, if you didn't count them losing it approximately eleven times already), afraid of no one, but it was after they rounded a corner, avoiding a large patch of magma blocks, when a gang of piglins appeared from nowhere.

The hideous creatures snorted in disgust when they saw Tubbo and Tommy and their white, unfeeling eyes glistened like a lion who's just caught their prey. And unlike their neutral-unless-provoked zombie counterparts, the slimy beings immediately became aggressive towards the two friends, drawing crossbows with bright yellow arrows and golden axes that glinted in the orangeish glow of the Nether's lava.

Tommy froze, his eyes locked onto the gun-like weapon of the piglin in front of him, and quickly Tubbo unsheathed his gleaming Netherite sword (one he'd stolen from Philza, of course).

"He-hey, hey," Tommy said, his voice cracking as the nervousness shone through.

He put his hands up by his face in a symbol of surrender, and Tubbo hid his sword behind his back. "Listen, you- uh- beautiful... people... why don't we just sit down and have a nice little chat about this?" the taller boy asked, staring at the crossbow in the front-most pig-man's arms.

Tommy's fingers tremored with fear, and Tubbo felt the urge to grab them and hold them until they'd stop moving. 

The piglins didn't speak the same language, however, and all the animals held up their weapons a little higher, a little nearer to attacking. They took a step towards Tommy and he did the opposite, tripping over his own feet in a hurry to stumble away from them, shrieking in a strangled sort of way.

Tubbo's teeth clenched together and his hands gripped onto the sword a little tighter. He heard his friend collapse on the ground next to him, shaking violently as he hid his head between his knees, warped cries coming from the thin child.

Tubbo stood his ground and quickly switched hands behind his back, placing the netherite sword in his left and quickly, in a flash movement, pulling the trident Ranboo had given him out of the sack with his right, and then bringing them both out to point at the group of demented monsters.

They growled and snorted at him, mucus running from their wet noses, glaring at the armed boy but not making a move to attack him. Tubbo heard Tommy shuddering and struggling to control his breathing behind him, and he gritted his teeth.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" he hollered, but it sounded more terrified and young than the menacing threat he'd imagined in his head.

Either way, it seemed to knock some unhelpful sense into the dimwits, and all of a sudden arrows began flying towards Tubbo, and the piglins with melee weapons lunged towards him, grunting and growling wordlessly, and he ducked to the floor, practically falling on his face. Thankfully they didn't have very good aim, and frustrated hisses of anger echoed through the large hot area of the Nether as arrows imbedded themselves into the rock just inches away from Tubbo's head, but never piercing him, and axes slammed down right below his feet, but never striking him.

Tubbo reached out for his bag and dodged a piglin with a particularly nasty-looking weapon at the same time, grabbing its strap just as the axe came down where his arm had been only a moment before, a crimson liquid that looked suspiciously like blood dripping off its blade. He reached into it, hands shaking in panic as he looked furiously for ender pearls so they could escape - what had he been thinking, trying to take on an entire pack of piglins? - and hoping that Tommy was aware enough to protect himself as he did so.

Then his fingers clasped around a couple of the spherical orbs, smooth and cool to the touch, and Tubbo almost cried out in relief. He spun around, ready to toss one to Tommy, when a piglin and its golden weapon came a little too close, its eyes filled both with incredible amounts of rage and equal amounts of empty blankness.

He screamed and his body twisted in a way it shouldn't as the axe was brought down on his shoulder with a gut-wrenching crack and sickening _splurch_ as the flesh and bone beneath it was severed. Tubbo fell to the ground, twitching in pain and his eyes wide as saucers as he continued to cry out, his uninjured arm instinctively reaching out to feel the damage.

Spots danced in front of Tubbo's eyes and he tried desperately to get up, because he had to get out of there, had to get Tommy out of there. But he lacked strength, and was rapidly losing blood from the giant hole by his neck, and he fell back down on his back, groaning in pain.

As if deciding death would be too a merciful end for the teenager, every single piglin stopped what they were doing simultaneously, turned around, and walked away in total synchronization, like a god had told them to leave him writhing, blood spilling out from his wound and covering the ground beneath him.

He tried his best to stay still for several long moments, panting heavily and feeling the cool textured face of the obsidian under his cheek. It was a welcomed sense in the hot, fiery land, and Tubbo licked his dry lips. He strained his neck, trying to catch a glimpse of his silent best friend while not moving his injured shoulder, and he whispered the boy's name, to no avail.

Then Tubbo saw the backpack, and a glimmer of hope filled his head. There were healing potions and medical supplies that he'd (mostly) hand-crafted by himself for a moment just like this. Sure, he'd expected that he'd be capable enough to actually take care of his wounds, but it would have to do. Tubbo scooted on his back, using his weak legs for momentum, and then slowly sat up, pushing his left hand against the ground.

He sifted through the items in the magical bag and pulled out a glass bottle with an unnaturally bright pink liquid inside of it, and hummed in delight, wincing at the same time as a series of waves of pain ran up and down the right side of his body, starting at his elbow and reaching the top of his neck. He fumbled as he clumsily pulled the cork at the top of the bottle off and dipped his fingers in the magic substance, trying to lather a bit on his wounded arm before hissing at the contact and finally pouring the whole container onto the injury.

Immediately a burning sensation filled his whole body and Tubbo screamed bloody murder, watching black spots spread across his vision as it felt like every inch of his skin was being scalded with acid and fire. And then he fell into unconsciousness, the pain of it all too much to bear.

\----------------------------------

It was tedious work, having to follow two pairs of small footprints. The snow was falling harder by the minute, and several times they'd almost given up, sure that the marks in the snow were invisible, only to find them again a few seconds later.

Ranboo had the sharpest eyes and so he led the way, Phil at his side and Techno behind them, internally navigating and watching the other two's backs. He knew that the boys had been heading in the opposite direction of L'manberg's remains but didn't say anything to Phil and Ranboo, scared of the possible explanation for it. Had someone really taken them against their will? He had no other ideas for where his brother and his friend would go.

They travelled in silence, each lost to their own thoughts and reasons, only stopping every once in awhile to have a snack and make sure they were still following the boys' tracks.

Finally, Phil pointed in front of them. "Anyone else see that?"

Ranboo and Techno looked up, and Ranboo's tail quickly whipped through the air as Techno's eyes widened.

"My old Nether portal," he realized, pausing in his steps at the sight of the weathered-down building with its dusty black-ish frame and the purple light filling the center that pulsed warily.

"Could they have gone in there?" Ranboo asked nervously, wringing his hands. "I mean, they wouldn't be so dumb. Tubbo wouldn't be so dumb. That's even worse than the snow and the cold, they'll die in there!"

"So we should hurry," Phil said firmly. He broke into a run and after a moment Techno and Ranboo followed him, skidding at a stop in front of the portal. 

Techno stared at it for a moment, thinking only of how he'd been found there as child by Phil, lying in a pile of ash, and of the many creatures; dangerous creatures; that lived there. He tried not to enter the world too often except for gathering netherite, because it gave him a sort of homesickness he'd always tried hard to shake, but now all he wanted to do was jump through and tear everything apart until he could see Tommy.

His hands were shaking. Technoblade had never been so frightened in his life.

"Well, should we g-" Phil started, but Techno and Ranboo rushed past him and stepped between the obsidian blocks, eyes squeezing tight as their forms started wavering in the purple light and their hybrid bodies becoming transparent until they disappeared away entirely.

Phil stared at the portal, surprised, before sighing and stepping in. 

_Tommy and Tubbo, here we come._

His stomach started twisting queasily, and Phil sucked in his breath between his teeth, fighting the incredible urge to run away from the portal; it had that sort of effect, making those who came near face their deepest fears in a desperate act of trying to protect its dwellers.

When he opened his eyes it was hot and his surroundings were all crimson red and orange and black, and Phil stumbled out of the frame, tripping over his feet. Techno swooped out of nowhere and helped him balance. "Careful there, old man," he joked, and Phil rolled his eyes. "Been awhile since I last did that," he murmured, and Techno nodded. "Relatable."

"Okay, okay, nice familial moment here, can we go now?" Ranboo asked impatiently, and after a shared glance, Techno and Phil nodded. The enderman took that permission with ease and began sprinting down the horrible path that Tommy had built when he'd last lived with Techno, not even bothering to ask if it led to the right place.

Father and son followed close behind, but far enough that they could have a conversation.

"Where do you think they would go?" Phil asked as Techno slashed at a magma cube with his sword, forcing it to fall down into a lava cavern. He felt his mask slip down his face as he ran and he used his free hand to push it back, eyes locked on the back of Ranboo's head as he hurried along in a mix of running and teleporting, leaving purple particles behind him when he did so.

"I don't know. I don't even know why they would return to L'manberg- there's nothing there for them anymore. And I'm not up-to-date on their alliances."

Phil sighed. "Maybe we should've thought that through more, Tech."

Techno's eyes narrowed and he slowed down to a brisk walk, turning to his father expectantly. "Whatever do you mean."

Phil refused to meet his eyes but he too slowed his pace. Sweat dripped down both of their foreheads and Techno desperately wanted to burn his large cloak. It was warm and insulating in the cold air of the snow village, but here it was useless and a hindrance.

"I mean, Techno, that maybe blowing up L'manberg was a bad idea. People can create new nations just as easily as they can be destroyed, maybe even more easily, because all it takes is an idea. And you can't forget that there are more governments that were overshadowed and protected by L'manberg. Those will rise up sooner or later; and we can't defeat them all before someone bands together and comes after us with an army."

Techno set his jaw.

"So, what? Are we supposed to just give up? No one will ever learn about the tyranny of governments without punishment, Phil."

Phil shook his head. "No, no, Techno- it's just- there were better ways to go about it. We could have convinced Tubbo and Tommy into turning it into something else. L'manberg could have been a land without rulers or laws, just like the rest of the SMP. We could've worked something out. Violence isn't always the answer."

"You've been thinking about this a lot," Techno acknowledged as he watched Ranboo fight off two piglins. 

"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose I have been."

"Tubbo never would have agreed," Techno added.

Phil sighed and shrugged half-heartedly. "Maybe not. But it was worth a shot."

"Mmm," Techno responded, and that was the end of that.

A half hour passed before Ranboo finally found a sign that the boys had been there. He picked up the sparkling core of a golden apple between his fingers and held it up as the other two neared him so they could see.

"Gapps?" Phil asked, surprised and confused. "Where the hell did they get-" he shook his head. "Never mind."

"I can't remember if I gave them any that day," Ranboo murmured, and Techno sighed. 

"It's a gapple. Who cares? Let's go. They're in danger, and now we know they were here. Even though Tommy sure likes to just waste the things, Tubbo would never let him have one unless they were in danger probably, so let's stop forcing me to be the reasonable one and get on our way. Alright? Alright."

"He's right," Ranboo said suddenly, and they both turned to see him holding up a gloved finger, blood slathered on the tip of it.


	8. marionettes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey uuhm so twitter me i need more friends :3 https://twitter.com/goldenwhoosker /g please i beg of you come talk to me lol hahahaaa
> 
> CW: blood, injury, violence  
> TW: manipulation, gaslighting, swearing, yelling, anxiety, nightmares

Tommy'd felt no pain when it happened. But then suddenly several pointy things slipped through the cracks of the near-broken armor he was wearing, and his foggy mind slipped out of reach, and after that he wasn't able to remember much.

But then Tommy was dreaming - he wasn't sure how that was possible; hadn't he been awake? - and he was sent to little individual words, memories all smashed into one with a little bit of mind-spice.

_"Tommy...."_

_He glanced up, and there Dream was, standing in front of him. Tommy tried to look at the man's face, to concentrate on the creepy smile plastered on his mask, but it was like his brain couldn't convert the light particles into an image._

_Either way, he knew it was him._

_"Dream... Dream, I'm sorry..."_

_He kept his eyes focused behind the faceless man, the way it was lighting up, there was something there._

_He tried to walk towards it but Dream put a hand on his shoulder. Tommy couldn't see it, but he knew it was there. Knew he couldn't get any closer._

_"It's not your time to die yet, Tommy," he said nastily, and Tommy put his head down. Then there was the sound of an explosion, and his eyes shot upwards, and he was somewhere else entirely._

_It was dark, and the boy could hardly see. But there was pink every once in awhile, and he heard himself mutter Tubbo's name, and then in the distance he heard someone shout._

_He began turning in circles, trying to see who was around him, but every time he could practically see the pink thing and he could've sworn the noise was right next to his ear, it would fade away to somewhere else entirely._

_"Tommy, I'm a person too, you know. Discs- they aren't people. And Tubbo - he's lying to you, man? Everyone you think is on your side? They're betraying you! L-look, Tommy, maybe this is going a bit far- did he even come to your party?"_

_The shouts started coming from all around him and Tommy spun quicker and quicker, eyes straining to see who it was that was talking to him, and finally he became so dizzy that he fell down._

_This time his eyes didn't open, but the shouts continued._

_"Tommy... Tommy!_

_Tommy!!_

**_TOMMY!!"_ **

He sat up and almost choked on his own spit as he tried to take a huge gulp of air. Immediately Tommy began coughing, and he felt something pound on his back as he struggled to get oxygen, pulling his shirt away from his chest because it felt like he'd been holding his breath for hours.

Hot, sticky hands flew around him and Tommy was trapped in a hug. He stiffened, unsure of who it was touching him, but then the faintest scent of honey and mint drifted through the hot, still air of the nether, and he relaxed because it was the familiar smell of Tubbo, one he'd known since childhood, and one that never seemed to leave the boy even when he was dirty and sweat covered.

"T-Tommy, I thought you were dead!" the smaller boy said into Tommy's shoulder, and he patted Tubbo on the head awkwardly. "Dead? Why the fuck would I be dead?" he mumbled, trying to clear the haze from his eyes because he still couldn't see clearly.

"There were like fifty pigmen trying to kill us," Tubbo whispered with fascination. "And they nearly took off my arm and then just ran away."

"Like scared pussies?" Tommy asked after a moment, only partly listening to his friend.

"Yeah, exactly like that."

"Get off of me," Tommy responded, pushing Tubbo lightly, and the boy complied, standing up and stepping a few feet away. Immediately he began bouncing up and down anxiously, looking around, and Tommy sat there for several long moments, his vision and mind returning back to him, and slowly the meaning of Tubbo's words dawned on him.

"Hold on- d'you say they took off your arm?" he asked, horrified, and jumped up ton inspect his friend.

"Oh, yeah," Tubbo nodded nonchalantly. "But a healing potion and a long time of agonizing pain and I'm alright. Well," he added as he showed Tommy the makeshift bandage around his shoulder, which was dripping with crimson blood, "mostly alright." It seemed to be created from multiple pieces of Tubbo's green shirt.

"Huh?" Tommy said, looking confused. 

"I- uh... never mind. You've been out for awhile, Tomms, we should get going-"

He pointed forwards, and far in the distance, a dark black against the dark red atmosphere of the nether, was a recognizable formation.

"The hub," Tommy said, and he shook his head. "Yeah. Alright, alright, please may I have some water first?"

Tubbo handed him a bottle and then slowly ushered him forward, helping him put on the backpack that carried their valuables. Tommy drank it as he finally began walking, wavering slightly on his feet, leaning on Tubbo as they went.

Tubbo eyed him carefully; he had removed all of the arrows that had hit Tommy and healed the wounds but the boy was acting all wrong, even worse than Tubbo, who had almost suffered involuntary amputation. His eyes looked distant, like his mind was somewhere else and he couldn't walk correctly, his feet tripping on himself every once in awhile.

Anxieties creeped up Tubbo's throat and he swallowed repeatedly to try to force them down, walking faster. They just had to get out of this place. Tommy would be fine once they got out of the literal hell. Surely. Surely he would be better. 

Tubbo wasn't sure how much time passed before they were finally standing in front of the protective blackstone that concealed the portal leading to the outside world, keeping it safe from ghasts' blasts and hidden from nearby mobs. He quickly pulled Tommy under the structure and made sure they hadn't left anything behind before stabbing a baby magma cube with his sword and pushing Tommy through the portal, the boy complaining at being shoved as Tubbo stepped in next to him, pulling out a bottle of milk and honey to sip on as the world around them began pulsing with purple light.

\---------------------------

They'd been running for an hour now, desperate to catch up with Tommy and Tubbo. Ranboo probably could have continued on for days, his form flickering between existence and non-existence as the enderman teleported with ease, but Philza's stamina wasn't great and Techno's heavy armor was beginning to weigh him down - not to mention his royal cloak, which he was too proud to throw away.

It wasn't long before Techno began to recognize the area and he started to bark at Phil to run harder, stressed. They were nearing the Nether hub and if the boys were in the overworld it could be near impossible to find them, especially in Dream SMP land, where Tubbo and Tommy were more familiar with their surroundings unlike their pursuers.

"Sure...ly... there's no way... they're... mov...ing faster... than.. us..." Phil panted as he struggled to keep up with Techno, clutching his side. Techno gritted his teeth and chose not to answer, his eyes fixated on the black building that was becoming increasingly larger.

"They might be!" Ranboo called, suddenly standing next to the two before teleporting ahead once again, and Techno almost rolled his eyes. _Show off._

Not more than thirty seconds passed before the enderman appeared right in front of Techn once again, the piglin hybrid having to skid to a stop before him. He opened his mouth to holler at the enderman for getting in his way but Ranboo was quicker, announcing, "Yep! They're definitely in the overworld."

Techno stamped his foot like a child, the movement so aggressive that the block beneath him chipped and the ground shook. Ranboo shrunk into himself as Technoblade growled at him, which was ridiculous because the tall, wiry man was several feet taller.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" he demanded between gritted teeth. 

"I'm... not sure what you mean?" Ranboo responded nervously, his tail twitching as he stared at Techno, fear in his eyes.

"Are you doing this on purpose? Did you want them to run away? Even better; did you help them to do this? Are you conspiring with those litt-those little nerds? Tommy can't be trusted to make the correct decisions by himself, Ranboo. He's proven that over and OVER again."

Ranboo's mouth opened and closed and he looked like he wanted to defend himself, but finally his gaze dropped to his over-sized feet, crestfallen. 

"I think you should maybe give Tommy a bit more credit..." he mumbled, and Techno fought the urge to scream in rage.

 _Calm, calm, calm,_ the voices reminded him, but he was angry at them too.

"Ah, right!" he shrieked. "Now you decide to come and help, huh? Nothing ever gets to go the way I want it to go!"

Ranboo and Phil glanced at each other uneasily.

"Techno, calm down-" 

He put a hand out to ground his son, but Techno pushed it away like a child, his whole body itching to just lay down on the floor of the Nether and kick his legs out until this horrible feeling of anxiety and fear and anger went away.

"I'm fine," he snapped, and before a last mental warning towards his imaginary friends and a quick glare thrown at Ranboo, he stomped his way into the Nether hub.

Immediately his stomach squirmed with queasiness, and Techno felt his knees wobble. Blood had dripped on the obsidian blocks making up the frame of the portal - fresh blood - and spilled over onto the floor, leaving a small puddle that didn't account for much but could leave so, so many possibilities.

It frightened the hybrid because it meant one of them was injured; one of them could be dying or even close to death. And the last amount of blood they'd seen was miles back- was the wound that bad? He suddenly felt very woozy, and Techno leaned against one of the pillars that supported the roof of the safehouse.

Phil and Ranboo entered then, the enderman immediately stepping away from Technoblade, and Techno showed them what he'd found.

"See? I was right," Ranboo mumbled, and he was ignored.

"Fuck," Phil hissed. "Where would they go? They could be anywhere by now."

Techno shook his head. "Hate to admit it, but I have no idea." He glanced up and saw the blood again and his stomach lurched. Techno winced - when had blood, of all things, made him so uncomfortable? - and tore his eyes away. He'd spent the past weeks waiting patiently, not giving up hope that the boys would come around, that they'd heal that eventually they'd be okay but this felt like the end of the rope.

 _Running away?_ He shivered, alarmed that his younger brother had felt so unsafe and been so untrusting as to risk his and Tubbo's lives just to get away. He wondered if Phil felt the same, and thought probably so.

"If they're hurt, they'll find someone nearby to help," Ranboo offered quietly.

"Like who?"

The enderman hybrid shrugged.

"Like whoever's nearby."

\-----------------------------------

Dream had been watching them for hours.

Days.

Weeks, even.

Usually, it was just him. He'd quickly swallow down an invisibility potion - that was the only thing that seemed to be created in his brewer stands anymore - and fill the pockets of his hoodie with several more. Then his armor would be pulled off and hidden in secret chests with landmarks that only Dream would ever be able to find, and he'd watch Techno's house from, say, a hundred meters away; close enough to see and sometimes hear everything as it happened, but far away enough that no one ever knew he was there.

Other times, Punz came along, the hood of his white sweatshirt pulled over his blonde hair, a trident in hand. Punz always refused the invisibility potions (something about how not being able to see himself was too weird), but he would hide in the upper branches of the spruce trees and sit there for hours, not moving an inch and only breathing enough to stay alive.

It was tiring and several times they nearly fell asleep on the job, but both were willing to risk their circadian rhythms to keep an eye on the house. Dream refused to leave the family alone for more than a minute; when he or Punz couldn't be there, he'd hire people easily swayed by money and not easily hindered by silly things like loyalties - people like Eret and Ponk - to watch over it instead. 

Although Dream was never quite sure what was going on inside, he knew Tubbo and Tommy were there. This was always confirmed when Ranboo would make daily trips to the bee farm that sat at the right of the house, returning inside with his hands full of jars of honey, and how when night came his senses would be heightened by the sounds of crying and the occasional shout that echoed out of the thin walls.

It had been weeks and not once had either child left the warm comfort of Techno's cabin, so Dream sure was surprised when one day Punz pointed to a small figure crawling out of the window. It was snowing quite hard and he wouldn't have been able to tell who it was if not for Tommy's signature colors: red and white.

The boy sneaked around the side of the house, peeking around corners before slipping through the front door. He emerged moments later with large amounts of brown and black materials in his arms, and a gleeful look on his face. Then he reentered through the window frame, leaving Dream confused and wanting to know what the boy was up to.

It was only the next day when he was awakened out of his half-asleep state by mischievous whispers and the faint sound of boots on snow. He'd opened his eyes to see Tommy and Tubbo, clad in a mixture of netherite and diamond, running in the opposite direction of the home.

Dream watched for a long time before standing up and following them at a distance, a slow, creepy smile forming on his face. He'd expected that one day they would defy Techno, and he'd been meaning to be their saviour - the man who swept in to reconcile with his former "friend" and save him from his violent older brother - but this? _THIS?_

He laughed quietly, and the howling wind swept the sound far, far into the sky.

This was much, much better.

He walked quietly between trees and froze every time one of the two glanced behind them; but he was never too worried, because he knew they would never suspect he was there. After all, why would he be? As far as they knew, he viewed this war as done and won, a championship of the past.

He grinned as he imagined all the possibilities of what they might think he was doing right now. Moving onto other projects, perhaps. The prison - ah, yes, the prison; he hadn't checked on that in awhile - or, maybe, rebuilding the community house. Sitting around a table with George and Sapnap, playing games together and arguing good-naturedly.

No, they would never consider he was out here freezing his ass off, following the two adolescent boys to wherever-the-hell they were going. Shivering because he didn't have any heavy clothes to protect himself with. Losing all his friends. He hadn't spoken to any of them besides Punz in almost a month. 

At this he felt a small amount of regret, but not enough to weigh down the exhilarating feeling of patience being rewarded, finally. Finally he was getting his hands on TommyInnit; and this time, he wasn't going to make a mistake.


	9. the next step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for this one being so late im going back to mostly in-person school and so im rlly busy sdjfklsdj  
> ive also been thinking a lot about where i want this to go so :)
> 
> also tysm for almost 10000 hits and all the comments and kudos and stuff holy shit i was never expecting that and it means a lot to me :D <3
> 
> CW: swearing, yelling, violence

When Dream followed the boys into the Nether, Punz at his side, he felt immediately at home. He took a deep inhale through his nostrils, hell's familiar warm and death-filled stench filling them. 

Sure, the humidity clung to his hoodie and made salty water drip down his forehead after only being there for a few seconds, and Punz shifted uncomfortably next to him because this was a place of danger and monsters, but at least he knew this terrain better than almost anyone. Dream had explored everything within a twenty-thousand meter radius surrounding the Nether hub, a journey that had been slowly continuing throughout a span of almost his whole life, and his mind alerted him that he recognized this area, a tiny sliver of nostalgia rushing through his body.

"Which way do you think they went?" Punz asked, his voice cold. His hand was tense at his side, ready to grab his bow if need be. Dream shook his head and studied the landscape, eyes narrowing behind his mask. He knew exactly the way they'd gone - knew both of them well enough, had been around them long enough to recognize homesickness and fear. They would return to L'manberg, blown up or not.

"Doesn't matter where they're going," Dream said easily as he picked up a pebble from the ground and tilted it, watching as the lava reflected off of its edge. "More, what they're going to do when they get there."

Punz furrowed his eyebrows but didn't say anything. Dream tossed the small stone in the lava and listened to the rapid hissing sound that rose from it as the cool temperature of the rock met the opposite heat of the magma river. Then he looked forward, at the cobble path, and smiled slightly. This hadn't been here the last time he was in this area of the Nether, years previous. But it was to be expected of Tommy, who loved cobblestone almost as much as his best friend.

There was a sudden movement to Dream's left, dangerously close to him, and he spun instinctively, a hand reaching up to hold his white ceramic mask in place.

Punz finished off a stray piglin by letting an arrow fly directly between its eyes, then kicking it off their platform into the lava stream, breathing a bit heavier as he turned to face Dream. They stared at each other for a few moments before Punz blew a strand of blonde hair out of his eyes and hummed a note as he slung the bow back over his shoulder and began walking down the path.

Dream immediately maneuvered to his side, raising his chin to look at the ceiling of the Nether, thinking.

"I think you should be more concerned about how far ahead they are," Punz finally said. His eyes were heavy with sleepiness - a side-effect of staying up for nights on end to keep an eye on Techno's house - but he fought to keep them open. 

"Of course I'm concerned," Dream answered coolly, his gaze flicking over to Punz, then forwards to where the giant blue and crimson fungi grew from the ground and reached the tall, dark caverns of the Nether. "But we have these."

Out of the pocket of his hoodie he pulled out two stacks of ender pearls and two invisibility splash potions, lifting them slightly to show his partner.  
Punz's eyes widened. 

"Dream- Dream, you know how queasy those things make me."

Dream rolled his eyes. "You can put up with it just this once." He handed his friend a stack of pearls and then, ignoring Punz's protests, threw the splash potions at their feet, a smile creeping over his translucent face as the magic consumed their bodies.

\---------------------------------------

When Phil emerged from the portal and once again saw the light of the Dream SMP, he was shocked to see how beautiful everything was.

Not that he had the right to be this surprised - the land was full of talented builders and artists able to manipulate colors to their own will.

But he'd assumed Dream SMP, especially everything around L'manberg's ruins, would be dark and grim. After all, they'd suffered terrible losses including allies, their homes, everything they owned, and two of the most important people ever to live in L'manberg.

So when the air was bright with a chilly happiness, the black floor of the Nether hub glistened in the sun, and the community house in the distance (recently rebuilt) stood taller than ever, it was the opposite of what he'd expected.

After being taken aback, and a little bit annoyed (had no one even bothered to worry about Tommy?) Phil noticed a second thing: the place felt almost completely empty. Although the grass stood at a perfect height, the wooden panels of the path Tommy had built years ago shone with a fresh coat of polish, and the lake under the large brick and stone community house's purity had recently been tended to, everything was too still.

As Phil glanced around he saw more evidence that Dream SMP had been vacated: apples that had succumbed to gravity underneath an oak tree, half-rotting and swarmed by bees; a large sign containing inappropriate words that had collapsed into shambles; half-built huts and statues that had been left unfinished.

He licked his lips and could taste his own uneasiness.

A large whoosh came from the air behind him, but Phil didn't turn. He recognized the sound of someone exiting a Nether portal.

Techno and Ranboo stepped out of the frame, bickering about something Phil knew was unimportant. Techno swatted at Ranboo's face, who growled in return, and they nearly slammed into Philza, who spun around and glared at the two warningly.

Ranboo immediately began complaining that Techno had started the quarrel, but Techno suddenly stiffened, looking over his shoulder. His hand clenched around his sword and Phil had known his adoptive son long enough to recognize that he was worried about something. 

Phil put his hand out in a symbol for Ranboo to stop talking.

"Techno....?"

"Something's wrong," Techno murmured, his voice oddly high and stressed - very unlike its usual monotone.

Phil shifted his weight to the other foot nervously.

"Meaning?"

"I'm not sure. I just have this feeling, like, we're being watched."

A cold tingle ran up Phil's spine, and Ranboo glanced around wearily.

"Who? There's no one here."

Techno's head moved slowly as he studied their surroundings. "I have no idea. Maybe I'm just being paranoid - but we should get out of sight and find the boys quick."

\-----------------------------------

Seeking Tommy and Tubbo proved to be beyond difficult. They'd expected to be back home within a couple hours, but it was nearing dusk and they hadn't even found a single shred of evidence to suggest Tommy and Tubbo had been in the Dream SMP.

"I don't understand!" Ranboo growled frustratedly, his slender fingers running through his pointed hair with uncontrolled anger. "They were never careful to hide their tracks before, leaving footprints and blood everywhere in their path, but now it's just like they've disappeared! Completely from existence!"

Phil shook his head and leaned against the door of Tommy's dirt shack, his eyelids half-closed with fatigue. They'd searched the house three times over and Techno had nearly set the home alight with dynamite, yet to no avail.

Techno stomped around the corner of a lamppost, his braided hair falling out of its do messily, the hems of his cloak coated in dirt and grime. Ranboo looked to him expectantly, but Techno just shook his head defeatedly, and Phil slumped against the door moreso, its handle digging into the small of his back.

Tommy and Tubbo were nowhere to be found.

\--------------------------------

When Tommy exited the nether portal, unconsciously gripping onto the visible green sleeve of Tubbo's arm, he'd been expecting a fight of some sort. There always was, with his bad luck, and the likelihood of it being nighttime in the overworld or someone with a grudge against him being in the other dimension nearby has constantly too high for Tommy's liking.

What he hadn't expected was for it to happen immediately. One minute he was swirling in purple mist, and then a horrified screech filled his ears. He'd turned instinctively towards Tubbo, fearing the worst, but before he could reach for the shorter boy a white flash suddenly overcame his vision, and a cry of his own filled the air.

Blinded, Tommy desperately tried to grasp onto Tubbo, his heart pounding because if he couldn't see than he couldn't protect his best friend, but he instead felt unfamiliar cloth touch his fingers, and then he tripped on something and fell to the ground. 

"Tubbo!" he screamed, frantically trying to stand up, his hands running all over the ground as he felt for the boy. His ears strained for Tubbo's voice, but the world was deprived of it. Something grabbed onto the back of Tommy's armor firmly and he yelped, flinging himself forward as he struggled to get away. He could hear the blood in his ears now, and he was blinking his eyes furiously, trying to clear them of the white light in his retinas.

Something sharp pierced Tommy's arms, slipping through the cracks of his shoulder plates, and he had no time to figure out what it was before he was lifted up and carried like a child. The world became extremely groggy and hazy and though Tommy opened his mouth to scream and beg for Tubbo's freedom, the words suddenly escaped him and his thoughts became mush.

\--------------------------------

Dream lifted Tubbo onto the back of his black stallion as Punz did the same with Tommy, strapping the unconscious children firmly into the saddle on the horse's back. They had stolen the horse from some unlucky person and it was now standing outside the overworld's Nether hub, eating grass calmly as they loaded it.

"Dream, someone might see," Punz muttered as he checked to make sure they were both secured. Dream shrugged and grabbed onto the creature's lead rope, yanking it softly. It whinnied, annoyed, before shaking out its mane and walking towards him reluctantly.

"Won't be a problem, Punz. Almost no one lives here anymore anyway."

Punz raised an eyebrow, staying near the horse's flank as Dream began leading it across the land in the direction of their destination. He was hesitant to believe Dream, but knew better than to argue.

Still, he glanced around worryingly - they were supposed to be appearing as though they'd gone their separate ways, not working together to kidnap two kids.

"What exactly do you have planned? Tommy's done for; you have both his discs, if you haven't noticed, and Tubbo's entire country was literally decimated. They have nothing! You've eaten up all their values! They're not worth anything else to us."

The corner of Dream's mouth lifted up behind his mask. "There are people who care about them," he hummed. "People who would scour the whole world for them. Powerful people. No one else on this server has that, you know."

Punz went silent for a moment. They began walking at a quicker speed; Dream wanted to get there before it became too hot.

"Where are we taking them? I thought you didn't have a house."

Dream bristled but bit his tongue so he wouldn't let out a stupid retort.

"Somewhere where it will be extremely hard for them to be found."


	10. this is where you belong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for my shit writing n for the bad things happening :")
> 
> CW: violence, threatening violence, blood  
> TW: manipulation, gaslighting, withholding food, yelling, panic, anxiety

Dream picked up two pairs of utensils, placing them on napkins that had been spread perfectly on twin plates so that their edges just barely touched the line of silver that lined their circumferences. He adjusted both dishes to his liking, humming a random tune quietly under his breath.

Holding them in one hand, he picked up the pot of stew, wincing as its weight caused strain to his wrist, with the other. 

When he turned around, Punz was there. He was halfway in the shadows, the pocket of his sweatshirt visible as he leaned against the doorframe. Dream stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at his friend silently, moving his mask with his shoulder so he could see better.

"Dream. You appointed me as your right-hand man, as your advisor, years ago. I swore myself to you. I also swore that I would do whatever I could to make sure that you're not making a stupid decision; this feels like one."

Dream snorted and stepped forward, meaning to push the shorter man out of the way, but Punz stepped further in the doorway, blocking his exit. Dream's fingers cried with pain as the pot of stew slipped in his grasp, burning his thumb.

"And I also swear to you, Punz, that I know what I'm doing."

He held the items in front of him and marched past his friend, struggling to keep his hands from shaking as the heavy pan continued to take its toll on his right arm. Dream quickened his pace until he spotted the locked room at the end of the hallway to the right. There was a table here, next to the entrance, and he gladly placed down his burden.

Then he straightened, and stared at the door thoughtfully.

For several minutes Dream stood there, silent and unmoving, as he weighed his choices. His every word would have to be precise and convincing. A single mistake could cause chaos, and Dream wasn't able to afford a catastrophic event when he was this close to getting what he wanted.

He grimaced. He knew that Tommy was not going to be happy to see him. This was the only thing Dream was a hundred percent sure of. He was also fairly certain that Tommy would do whatever he had to in order to insure Tubbo's safety, and because of this would likely immediately go on the defense.

That was where it could tricky. Dream had to be dominating - Tommy was a tough fighter and battled with spirit - but gaining leverage over to the boys also required Tommy's trust. He massaged his right hand as he brainstormed ideas, going over the basics of the possible conversations and outcomes that might happen. 

When he was sure he had a rough draft of actions to take in any given event, Dream finally lifted his tired hand and knocked on the door, not waiting for more than a moment before entering the room.  
Immediately a figure charged him, a blur of anger and terror, and Dream leaped out of the way instinctively a second before the person slammed into him. He watched with shock as the child smashed into the wall, hands out to protect himself as he was flung back from the momentum.

But it wasn't Tommy who boldly attacked him; it was Tubbo. The boy crumpled to the ground, moaning and clutching his head and ribcage. Dream rolled his eyes. It had been a foolish act of defiance.

He turned to face the center of the room, and there was the boy he'd been looking for: Tommy. He was pressed up into the corner between the bed and the dresser, tremors running up and down his body. He stared fearfully at Dream, his eyes never once descending to look at his best friend, with a look nothing short of terror. Dream noted with a touch of sick pride that he was the human equal of prey that had been hunted down and was about to be eaten. This was not the same child that had once rose up against Dream at every chance.

"Tommy," Dream said in a low voice, and the recipient flinched.

A cruel smile danced on Dream's lips at the inaudible response. He took a step closer, and Tommy suddenly shuddered as he slid down to the ground, pressing his knees against his chest and holding his hands up by his head, shutting his eyes tightly. 

"No, please!" the boy gasped, and his chest rose and deflated unreasonably fast like the faintest of words caused him to be out of breath.   
Dream cocked his head, then gritted his teeth. He did not come here to meet a coward.

"Get up!" he snapped, and in one tiny movement his sword had been unsheathed from the holster hidden behind his hoodie.

Tommy jolted so hard he hit his head against the wall, and behind Dream he heard Tubbo groan and sit up groggily. He hissed and stepped forward, bringing back his sword at the same time. "I said, get up!" He slashed at Tommy's knee, skimming the child's flesh and causing a moderately deep cut down his leg. Tommy screamed with fear and jumped up from the ground, his entire body shaking as he cupped his hand around his injury, blood spilling out between them.

Dream stepped back calmly, wiped the blade on his black pants, and nodded, satisfied.

"See? That wasn't so bad."

Tommy whimpered.

"Get... the hell away from him!"

Dream turned just in time as Tubbo nearly crashed into him again, the boy clutching his head with a dazed look in his eyes as his legs threatened to give out on him. Dream growled and pointed his sword at Tubbo's throat, and Tubbo stopped in his tracks, his eyes meeting Dream's.

"Tommy," Dream warned with an unrealistically sweet tone on his tongue, "your little friend here is trying to put your lives in danger by attempting an attack on my life. Should we show him what happens when you don't play nice?" He raised the weapon in preparation to give Tubbo a nasty blow.

Tommy made a strangled cry, and then was suddenly at Dream's side. He tottered to the left as he side-stepped in front of Tubbo, giant tears forming and then quickly falling from his eyes as he cringed before Dream. His entire body was cursed with tremors so immense that Dream considered it a wonder he was still standing up. His hands shook as he pushed Tubbo further behind him with half-hearted strength.

"P-please, please don't hurt him, Dream, don't blow him up, I'm sorry I'm sorry- I'll do- I'll do whatever you want _just don't hurt him._ "

"Tommy," Tubbo squeaked, and Dream watched as the shorter boy tried to push Tommy out of the way. "Tommy, you're being an idiot, I can take care of myself-"

Tommy shoved him, hard, in return, and his friend was slung across the room as a result, blinking in disbelief as his back hit the wall. "No, you can't," Tommy growled. But even in his bravery he refused to look Dream in the eyes.

At this the man smiled. He moved closer to Tommy, the grin widening as the boy stiffened and shut his eyes tightly, and rested a hand firmly on the kid's shoulder. He could feel the muscles tense under his grip, and could practically taste the terror emitting from him, but he made no move to give Tommy space. He leaned forward until his mouth was next to Tommy's ear, until he could hear Tommy's heart beating quick like a rabbit's, and whispered, "Why don't we try something fun? Something we haven't done in a long, long time..." 

Tommy's breath hitched, and an involuntary cry escaped his throat, but he made no move to back down. Dream could tell that Tommy was breaking under his command, but he made no move to stop protecting his friend. At this, Dream held both an admiration and a repulsion: _so this it shall be that gets you killed._

He finally moved back into his original position, swinging his sword to snap back into his sheath. "Be ready in an hour, Tommy. Prepare everything you have... you know the drill. Punz will be here to collect you then."

He started out the door, then paused and added one last thing: "Oh, and if you give him any trouble, I'll take Tubbo's right arm off."

He slammed the door closed with a wink that no one was able to see and a smirk across his face. Dream was never proud of his deeds, but he was always proud of where they brought him: to the very top.

Punz was waiting a short length down the hallway, his arms crossed. He pointed at the pot of soup still sitting on the table outside the boys' room and tilted his head slightly, a grim look on his face.

"Do you want me to give that food to them?"

Dream shrugged and waved his hand dismissively. He had been far too productive to worry about things like what they'd eat. "If you want to. Don't give them more than a bit, though. Wouldn't want their strength to return; that could be a problem."

Punz's nose wrinkled unhappily, but he did not argue. He moved forward and took the large pan in his arms, adjusting its weight so he was able to put the utensils and dishes in the large pocket of his sweatshirt. Dream's lip curled over his teeth as the competitive part of his brain snapped at him for not thinking to do the same.

He forced himself to turn away as Punz entered the room, closing the door tightly behind him. He strode into the kitchen and sat down briskly on one of the wooden chairs before pulling a handful of folded papers out of his own pocket, pulling them apart to study their contents.

Dream had never been much of a preparer when he was younger, but these past few years were spent constantly planning. There were several dozen people living in the borders of the Dream SMP; all of them with their own goals and achievements, their own secrets and lies and madness. And Dream was well aware of their power: most were incredibly wealthy individuals and were strong and healthy.

Even the youngest of the residents of the SMP, like Ranboo and Tommy, were known for their abilities.

He scowled and leaned back, his eyes trailing away from the papers as he stared at the wall in thought. There were so many things to do. People to keep his eyes on. He knew there were very few people currently pleased with him. And the ones who were pleased with him did not trust him.

Dream twiddled his thumbs aimlessly as he studied a deep crack in the white wallpaper. He'd chosen this home because it had been abandoned years ago; an insignificant memory left over from times of cheerfulness, times long forgotten. Barely anyone knew about this place, other than Dream, and once again he was cursed to be the only one aware of all states of being: past, present, and future.

In fact, no one seemed to admire or credit the man for this. He spent every day of his life trying to convince his friends and family to be on the same side, and it had not prevailed. While they waged war and betrayal and broke hearts as well as friendships, he was constantly quietly pursuing the ultimate level of peace.

He would make it right. They'd learn to finally listen to him. Tommy especially; he was the key in getting everyone to follow him. After all, if _Tommy_ of all people obeyed Dream, then everyone else would have no reason not to.

Dream hummed. He had been putting all his energy into this project of perfection and finally the pawns were being put in place. Soon, he'd rule them all, and then every single resident of the Dream SMP would see that he was truly the only one who cared about their well-being.


End file.
